One of my very best friends took his own life oct

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One of my very best friends took his own life Oct 14 2023. None of us see this coming. I’m still in shock over it still. I miss you brother :cry:

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I’m so sorry, friend. Losing your best friend to suicide must have been, indeed, such a profound shock. Nothing can prepares for you for the brutality of such loss, and for how painful it can be to learn to keep on living without their presence. It’s so hard to not only learn about it but also to just process this new reality. You have been suddenly forced into a completely new world in which your friend is not physically here anymore, which leaves such a deep mark on the heart. I imagine how heavy and heartbreaking it must have been for you and the ones who are missing him to walk through these last eight months. Somehow, when you are navigating the realms of grief like this, time seems to take a completely different shape too. Life just isn’t the same, and it makes completely sense to still feel the shock of it all in the present. It takes time to process and deal with a reality we wish to never know. To compose with the deep feeling of injustice it creates in your heart.

I hope you manage to be gentle with yourself as time goes on. That you allow yourself to not be on top all the time, for your heart is hurting and you are not expected to be at your best during those moments. From a personal experience, grief and dealing with traumatic losses has made me unable to be functional for a while, which forced me to learn to be really compassionate with myself. Over the years though, pain has taken a different shape for me. It is still very raw and very present, it hits at times really unexpectedly, but it doesn’t feel as overwhelming and as constant as before. Time offers room for love and good memories to take place again in our mind, little by little. We learn to explore the possibility to honor the life of the ones we love, by living the best life that is, and by sharing their name when we can too.

Sending much love and hugs your way. :heart:


@HeartSupport thank you so much for your kind words. I think the hardest part about James being gone is seeing the absolute total devastated look on the faces of his 3 daughters and his wife Emily. We all try to be there for them but man thats tough as painful as it is for me it’s nothing compared to what they are feeling. James was actually the 3rd lifelong friend of mine to take their own life since 2014. At times I get angry and just want to put my foot up his backside. It’s a roller coaster of emotions to say the very least. My grandfather that I never had the chance to meet took his life 4 months before I was born and it still very raw for my dad to this day. My dad has a way of putting things into words that just seem to really make sense. He told me that when someone does that their pain is over but there is a lifetime of pain for the loved ones and that "its a permanent solution to a temporary problem "

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