I’m feeling pretty unlovable today.
I usually don’t have a lot of human interactions during the week since I live with my parents and brother, work in a small office where the majority is my family, and I don’t hang out with other people much, mostly just my 3 year old nephew.
I feel pretty lonely most days, and my anxiety and being an introvert doesn’t help me much with that.
On the weekend I at least see people in church, but I usually try to not to engage too much because I’m not very emotionally stable at the moment.
I was thinking about myself today, and when I look at myself, and all the things that make me me, I don’t see why anyone could ever love me or want to be my friend.
I see this failure that I am and I understand why I’m alone. I understand why I don’t have tons of friends and why I usually don’t see people during the week.
It hurts to see this about oneself.
It hurts to know that no one would check on me, asking me how I’m doing or if I’m still alive. I know that no one would text me or talk to me if I wouldn’t text them first or would try to start a conversation.
Most people think I am strong, I am not, but I have to be.
I guess I just want to feel some love. I just don’t want to feel like it doesn’t matter if I’m here or not. I wish I would have someone who would actually care…