Only just ok

Needing somewhere to actually open up.

I’m sad and tired.

For a long time I’ve felt like a good cry could help me feel better and maybe let go or find an easier way to live with some baggage. But I’m afraid that if I start crying then I would never stop.

When I think about crying I always feel guilt, selfish, shame, and I see myself as a mess on the floor in the fetal position in the most tucked away, dark place I can find.

I hate being only just “ok” and I hate myself for not being able to figure it out; for being so lazy and/or unmotivated to do the things I need to (get healthy, eat better, exercise) or even the things I used to enjoy doing. It’s just so much easier to lay in bed or sit in the couch.

I want to be better but have no motivation to do so.

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how about if you imagined that you found a peaceful sunny spot in nature? Maybe next to a glistening lake, birds in the trees singing, butterflies on the flowers, a cool crisp breeze through the tees? Would a good cry in that sort of setting make you feel any more positive?

But on a serious note, I am sorry that you feel so tired and sad and sort of stuck. Feeling your emotions is no selfish, it’s surviving, it’s healthy, it’s essential. Life can get hard, friend, and there is a reason tears are part of the human machinery :slight_smile:

We’re here, if you’d like to run through anything, to get the words out, just to vent, or even for advice or suggestions.

You’ve take a step already by posting here. You matter, and your have worth and value, just by being you.
Wanting to be better is a good idea, now you need some tiny tiny steps to indicate what “Better” means to you. Eat better, for example, good goal, but what does that means? Less processed, more home cooked, better nutrition, etc? Do you have a budget and a plan for where to purchase healthier food, do you have recipes on hand, do you have all the other ingredients, etc.
If you break it up in the tiniest baby steps, it might be easier to get started on it. We’re here to help, however best we can!

Wishing you a great day today, sometimes we need to rest our bodies and minds too, especially when we have big emotions going on in our heads. Let us know how you’re doing.

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From: micronious

You deserve to be happy no matter what’s going on in your life I promise! You want to be better! That’s fantastic! You are already more than half way there! I just know you can make it, you are very strong and it shows by how much you care and want to do better. Motivation will come to you, just wish for it… know that it will come to you and it will tenfold! I believe in you and know you can accomplish anything you set out to do! I hope the healing light fills you with the joy and love you deserve my friend! Take care on your journey!

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend, Welcome to Heartsupport and thank you for posting its good to meet you. I am so sorry that you are feeling so bad right now, It saddens me to read how hard you are being on yourself, when you feel a certain way in your head, when you feel stuck, sad, depressed etc it is so hard to find the will or the strength t do the smallest of activities and then of course we add guilt on to that because we don’t do the smallest of activities and so it continues but you are not lazy you are stuck and that place you are stuck in right now is hard. I am so glad you have found heartsupport as its great place to find people that have experienced exactly what you are going through right now, myself included and we have some great self care youtube videos that you could watch if you wanted, ill post a link under this reply. Have you thought seen your Dr about how you are feeling? If not it may be worth dropping in and having a chat. Ultimately once you start to feel better in yourself all the motivation will start to return and I for one want that for you. In the meantime, please give yourself some grace, life can be tough without you punishing yourself more. You are valuable and loved and I look forward to hearing how you are getting on. Much Love Lisa.

CaseyScreamsBack - YouTube

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Hi only_just_ok
First of welcome to Heartsupport. Thank you for posting :slightly_smiling_face:. I am no doctor but i think you might be suffering from depression. Depression is a serious mental disorder. I think you match a lot of the symptoms of depression. I am going to post a short video about if you are interested. It might show you some of the tings amd make them more understandable for you. 6 Signs You're Depressed, Not Lazy - YouTube If you have found yourself in this please go see a doctor to get evaluated for depression. Depression is treatable but the more you wait with getting help the worse it becomes. I hope you will manage to find the help you need. Take care :slightly_smiling_face:.

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From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hi @only_just_ok I’m sorry you’re feeling down on yourself. I have major depression and I can relate to what you’ve written. Try not to be so hard on yourself and treat yourself with compassion if something is just too hard. I don’t know if you’ve talked to a therapist or not, but perhaps you could try that out. You might find some coping skills to help you. Take care! ~Mystrose

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From: SuchBlue

Hi @only_just_ok, and welcome to the forum. Honestly, just know that a lot of people around you are probably feeling the same. There are a lot of people that wake up, work, get exhausted and sleep with no real time or motivation to do what they actually want to do. Some people don’t have enough time or motivation to even react to acknowledge how they’re feeling, and it’s really sad to just write that. Breathe in, breathe out, think about what’s stopping you and try your best to overcome it. You can do it :hrtlovefist: :hrtlegolove:

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From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello, only_just_ok! Welcome to the community and thank you for sharing with us :hrtlegolove:

Honestly a really good, long cry can sometimes be so helpful. It won’t solve how you feel but it can help let out some of what you are feeling. And sometimes it can feel like you will never stop but you will. When I need a moment (or a lot of them) I like finding someplace quiet and secluded outside where I can just let myself go. I’ll take a bunch of tissues and just go there intending to let the emotions out. It can be very therapeutic and I hope you don’t hold yourself back from your sadness.

Just focus on one little thing at a time so you don’t get overwhelmed. Focus on what makes you happy in the moment, if anything.

Unfortunately, when things are bad sometimes we just cannot make ourselves better and we need other people’s help. Have you thought about getting into therapy? It can be so helpful.

Thank you again for sharing with us and I hope you come back and share again. We’re always here whenever you need people to talk to :hrtlegolove:

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