So the other day I got an assessment phone call and I think it went pretty well.
After many attempts at trying to talk to a professional and failing , I feel like this one was more honest.
I finally told them about my past , a locked away memory I have, that I have not told anyone ever (other than my partner) before .
It was weird to tell another human being , I buried it so deep and for so many years , that I’m not too sure what is real or not.
I have to be assessed again to go over this in more detail ( as we ran out of time ) but I keep thinking and asking myself. …
Can delving into a dark past make things worst ?
Has anyone had a dark past they hid away from the world and it come back to the front of your mind so many years later and how did this change you better or worst?
I’m scared and want to be brave for my next appointment. Help?
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us!
You are loved! You matter! You are cared for greatly!
I’m glad to hear you finally found someone you feel is able to be a confidential and respectful 3rd party who can help you walk through what’s going on in your life. What an amazing start!
I would say now that you’ve been to the stage where you’ve talked about this to them, they have definitely had time to give it the time and consideration to help you work through this. I have had some difficult memories be worked through years later. It can be tough but you have no idea just what these memories are causing you. I have had memories i have not talked about to most anyone for more than some have been alive but once worked through with a therapist have felt like a release. Yes there are times when the memories are intrusive during that time, but a good therapist can definitely make it much easier(which part of a good therapist includes this trust you have built with them, and you are good to talk to them with is awesome!). In the end i have become stronger and a better person from all of this
One thing i learned is that thoughts and memories are like clouds, you can see them passing by, you can pluck them out of the sky and examine them, and then you can out them back up there. You can’t make them go away. Some days it will rain and you can’t stop it. You can’t always go somewhere it isn’t raining either, but a good set of mental healthcare tools are like a good umbrella. When the storm clouds roll in, you just open up the umbrella and you stay dry. So keep talking and keep building your umbrella of positive wellbeing bigger and bigger so you won’t get wet when you feel the winds blowing.
You are loved, you matter, and you are cared for greatly!
Gave me goosebumps… This really got me deep in thought and is an amazing way to think about the healing process 
Wow yea I never thought of it like this . What an amazing thing. Thanks so much for that advice @j71s8
I am only at the assessment stage so I am super scared to even start to open up about my past . But I told them about it (answering their questions honestly for once) and it felt weird but good I think. I am just so scared about working out more about what happened. What’s real and what will come out of it . But thanks so so much for that reply. It gives me the hope i need 
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