Overall anxiety, depression and lost love

This is difficult for me to put down as I have been fighting a battle inside my mind and heart for awhile now. My entire life anxiety and fear has taken control of my entire being. From panic attacks, depression and now having lost a relationship of 6 years because of a mix of issues.

I won’t go into the details of our romance, but I will say that she knew how to quiet this raging storm and was someone I could rest my fears in.

Now she has moved on and has found someone else. Which I’m not mad at her about. I only want her to be happy. I guess it’s selfish of me, but lately I just want to call her and pour out my heart to her about all the pain and fear I am feeling. About all the regret. About all the mistakes I made when we were together. About not fighting to keep her by my side. But I know that is long gone, and I have to accept that we aren’t going down the same path in life.

Which brings me to how my remorse of losing her lead me to try and find comfort in others. Meaningless sex and drugs. Anything to numb the reality of how my partner, my rock was gone.

Hooking up is not in my character. I felt so horrible and sick inside of myself for trying to find a quick fix only to bring on another round of self hate, depression and health anxiety.

I think I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts are everywhere and categorizing them seems next to impossible. It just feels like the glue broke when I lost her and I seemed to have lost myself and my moral compass has spun out of control.

I feel alone even with family and friends around me. It is the most despairing headspace I have been in in some time. I guess I just want to feel safe and loved.



Hey Mitch,
Thanks for sharing. You’re not alone here. The love and support I’ve felt here has been amazing in such a short time.

It’s not easy pulling yourself out of a spiral, been working on it myself lately, but props to you for taking the first step. :blue_heart:

Here for you if you need anything


Thank you, Newt! :black_heart: means so much! :pray: Yes I’ve heard amazing things about Heart Support. I appreciate your reply!


Hey @Heartsick,

Thank you so much for being here and sharing your heart. As a very anxious person myself, I know opening up can feel very scary and uncomfortable, even through written words. But you just did it here, and I hope you’ll allow yourself to be proud of yourself for taking that step.

You’ve been through a lot and it truly makes sense to feel how you feel. This person was an anchor to you and held an important place in your life. 6 years is not nothing. It’s understandable to feel torn sometimes, to have this desire to reach out to her and share your struggles. Right now, you are learning to rely more on yourself and you’re on your way to create a new support system. One that won’t include her, which is a loss that you need to grieve on your own time, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to cope since she’s not around anymore. You have that strength within you. It just needs the right support, people and environment to be revealed to you, just because depression and anxiety can really try to beat us down and make us doubt about ourselves.

Your rock is gone and since then you’ve been walking on paths that are not really you or who you want to be. But here you are too, being honest and vulnerable, acknowledging that, maybe, during this journey of yours you were about to lose yourself. It takes a huge amount of strength to open up about this, friend. A lot.

Your moral compass isn’t gone and being here sharing all of this shows it. But yes, you’ve lost a part of yourself with her. You’ve lost a part of your life, of your world. So it makes sense to feel lost and have a hard time organizing your thoughts. You’re grieving this relationship, friend. And at the same time, your depression and anxiety didn’t go away suddenly of course, so it’s like another hardship to deal with, on the top of what you were already going through.

You will find your way back, friend. You’ll learn to compose with the emptiness that she left. You’ll learn to honor the beautiful memories you had together, also to keep with you the good things she brought into your life, yet at the same time you’ll learn to cope differently, in a way that will remain healthy for you. The potential for growth and healing isn’t gone with her. It just takes a different shape now, and you are learning to be more familiar with it, at your own pace.

I’m really sorry that you feel alone despite having your friends and family. It’s a brutal spot to be in - feeling isolated while knowing that, objectively, we’re not truly alone. But sometimes our pain is just too deep and hard to communicate. It makes us feel inherently lonely and broken. We’re not though. It’s just how it is when we go through a painful season in our life.

I want you to know that you are not alone, friend, even if it feels like this. We hear your voice here. We see you. We see your struggles but also your efforts. I believe you will be able to overcome this. But you’ll need to welcome new forms of support in your life. Maybe your friends and family would be more supportive if they could know or understand a little more what you’re going through? Maybe seeing a counselor could be a good decision too? Or a support group? You are allowed to integrate in your life new types of emotional support. You are allowed to try, even if it’s to realize that some of those things don’t work for you. It takes time to create our own safety net, but it’s worth it. Because YOU are worth it. You were worth the comfort and help you received yesterday, and you are worth the same tomorrow. You matter, always. :hrtlegolove:

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Thank you so much for your support and reply! It really does make me feel less alone in this current place in my life.:pray: Being able to communicate on the level that can describe my state of mind and heart is definitely the toughest. I am definitely thinking of seeking out a therapist to help me through, as I have heard it can work well. Again, thank you for the support!:black_heart: Much love!

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I am definitely thinking of seeking out a therapist to help me through, as I have heard it can work well.

Hey, that’s truly awesome. Honestly it can be a journey in itself to find the right therapist and the right therapy… but it’s worth it. I’m currently in this process, and even if I’m still looking after what would help me the most, I have no regrets. Just because it helps me to learn myself and my needs better. Overall it’s a very significant way to stand up for yourself and do what is right for your heart.

In any case: you got this! And this community willl keep being with you during this journey of yours. Whether you need someone to listen, to share your heart or even share your progress. We’re here for all of it, and just the joy of doing life with you. You’re not alone. :hrtlegolove:

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