Overwhelmed and Scared

Hey guys. I am a college student (Freshman) who has been here for about two months now. I go to a Christian college and it is great. The school really focuses on emotional health which is unlike the other colleges that I have visited. The problem is that I struggle with depression. Its more of a seasonal issue and it is starting to get bad. I am sleeping all the time and have been getting behind on some of my assignments. I had the chance to talk with some faculty about my story and they pulled out all of this super painful stuff from my past and now all of my crap is right on the surface. I feel like if I don’t deal with it soon I am going to be crushed. I have been reaching out to a few people for support, but something always gets in the way- whether they forget or don’t have time for me. I feel as though I am frantically searching for help, but no one is seeing what is beneath the surface. I feel like I am drowning and no one sees it. It takes a lot for me to ask for help, but I started doing it and people aren’t taking me seriously. I don’t know what to do or where else to turn. I signed up for counseling, but it will take a couple weeks for us to really dive into my issues. So, I feel like I need help now, but I don’t know how to get it and I do not want to do something that I’ll regret because of my pain. I am scared of what I might do if I do not get healed soon. I don’t know what else to do.

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Hi there,
I’m a college freshman at a Christian college also, and understand how difficult that can be to be depressed at this time. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, you don’t deserve to feel this way or go through this, and I am truly sorry you feel this way.
I am glad though that you reached out to Heartsupport though! you are so loved and valued, please don’t forget that.

I know how sucky it can feel to feel so exposed like this. You feel like maybe you shouldn’t of shared anything, or reached out in the first place. You feel like you now have to solve all of these problems or you’ll never get better.
And that’s not true! Maybe it’s a good thing they pulled all of that out for a good reason. Maybe this is a chance for you to address some things in your life that are preventing you from getting better. You’ve had these things hidden for so long and haven’t dealt with them/had any closure with them, that now you feel like it’s going to swallow you. I think it was a good thing all of that came out of you, because now you see what may be the problem, and start to find ways you can help get over those things, and heal! Sometimes things aren’t meant to have a lot of thought put to them. Maybe addressing these things could just be acknowledging that they happened, and then finding small ways in which you could learn from those situations, get closure, heal, and move on.
You said people aren’t taking you seriously. Do the faculty at the school take your situation seriously? Have they tried to help in a way that may be beneficial to you? I know some of the things Chirstian colleges offer are good, but they also have some things that may not be that helpful. I would recommend going to a faculty member you trust the most and talking to them more! I know it’s hard, but I truly think it’d be beneficial, especially since you said some of them already know your situation. Mayne they’d have a better understanding of what you’re going through and would say some things that could get through to you? If not, you have HeartSupport, and we’re always here for you:)
it’s okay if you don’t know what to do. It’s okay to feel lost. just know that you’re strong enough to keep fighting, and have all the power in the world to get through this.
keep fighting.

Hey @Sarah,

It seems like just yesterday when I was a college freshman, and I can still feel the unique depression/anxiety I was going through - you are definitely not alone in your struggle. Several factors can play into negative feelings while at college - homesickness, difficult schooling, dorm drama, etc. I’m proud of you to hear that you’ve decided to sign up for counseling; it’s one of the best things you could’ve done in a time like this. They will provide you with the necessary tools to fight back against what you’re feelings, along with a bunch of helpful tips & tricks to soothe your anxiety. I promise you’ll start feeling better once you start seeing someone. Hang in there! We believe in you!

-Eric

Hi Sarah, thanks for reaching out.

Freshman year was pretty hard for me too and I went through similar issues. It took time to get better but it did. Unfortunately, I was alone and there was no one who I could talk about this with. Take it one step at a time and you’ll soon get better: there are a lot of factors who could make your college life worse, just breathe and don’t rush. Things will come together soon.

Love you

Pioggia :sunflower:

@Sarah Do you have a sunlight/sunlamp (it is not the same as a tanning bed). You claim it must be seasonal and most people use these things to combat it. Another way to combat it is to get outside in the sunlight. Also taking vitamins B6, B12, C & D maybe even A will help as well. B because it will perk up your energy. C & D because this helps with the depression part.

If this continues maybe getting a therapy pet will help.

(There are other methods as well.)

Sarah, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed when starting therapy, but there’s no rush to get treatment; it’s going to take a long time to build up that trust and open up to a counselor. There’s no quick cure (or any “cure” for that matter) for depression, so take your time to get well. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, there are emergency help lines you can call. There might even be a warmline in your area that you can call anonymously, and just talk things out with a peer. As far as people not taking you seriously, those are the kinds of people you can just cut out of your life; you deserve to have your voice be heard.

Hey There Sarah,

Thank you for coming forward. I want to say youre taking huge steps. Important steps. Please remember to celebrate those. Secondarily - im really proud of your self awareness in this instance.

Your message resonated with a lot of us.

Here is what we thought

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