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Overwhelmed, Stressed, and Spiraling

Hey everyone, I’m currently spiraling down. Over the past few months I’ve been under a lot of stress and college restarted which put me under more stress. I’ve become overwhelmed because I’m too involved in organizations and don’t have free time so I’ve taken a step back. I lost motivation to go to classes that I typically enjoyed and so my grades have slipped to the point where I have to start auditing them. In addition I just went through a breakup with a girl who I thought was the one, similar interests, same career path, same area we came from. I’m also 800 miles away from my family too and I’m really alone here. People down here say they’re here for me but they aren’t when I need them. I tried getting help the other day because my stress and mental health has made me constantly vomit, have headaches, and flu like symptoms but the doctor told me its not related at all despite testing negative for flu and strep throat.

I’ve always been able to put on a fake face and be in public like that but this is so bad people in my classes and in public have all noticed and always tell me I look extremely tired (which I am).

I’m just very discouraged and stressed and frustrated at this point. I recently bought my dream car but even that didn’t make me feel happy which is something I couldn’t have ever imagined to not be excited about.

In addition I’m a firefighter back home and I don’t want to try to get help and just be lumped into “it must be PTSD” group. Yes I’ve seen bad things happen to good people many times, but I for the most part have been able to acknowledge that not everyone can be saved and all that matters is that we put our all into it.

I just feel so alone and worthless at this point and I’m trying to get help but its so discouraging when you don’t get acknowledged that you need help.

If anyone has any recommendations for therapists in the central Florida area please please let me know because apparently my campus counseling center just hands out pamphlets and doesn’t really try to help either.

Dude, this is brutal…to feel like everything that you loved is crumbling, and every place you try to put your hands for support doesn’t hold your weight…it’s like grabbing hold of something you thought was solid and having it evaporate before your very eyes…it feels like you’re shouting into a void…you can’t stand the thought of people knowing what your’e going through, but you can’t stand what you’re going through…you wish that someone would just break into this vacuum you feel you live in and pull you out…that maybe for once YOU could get rescued…you just don’t know how to work your way out…and everything you’ve tried feels like a dead end – doctors, school counselors, etc…it all just feels like bullshit. You need something substantial to help you.

Well first of all, an easy referral would be to better help – it’s online counseling. I’m currently in it myself, and I’ve been to in person counseling, and it’s literally no different…the quality of the experience is the same, AND it’s 10X easier to schedule, attend, and find the right counselor for you. HeartSupport gives a week free trial for you to test it out: betterhelp.com/heartsupport

Other than that man, I just want to say – I see you. I’ve drowned by myself too, and I remember feeling completely hopeless…what you’re experiencing really does matter…your heart and your pain…and finding the answers you are looking for is worth the effort it takes to get it. I’m happy you are reaching out and not letting the discouragement stop you from trying new things. And I believe that you’re going to turn a corner to a new chapter of life. It might not be overnight (most mental health stuff rarely is), but it will be worth it…you are worth it.

-Nate