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Pain and so afraid

Hello everybody this is my first time I’ve been surfing with addiction on opiates I’ve been trying to come off went cold turkey for 2 days that didn’t work out too well so I decided to trust somebody with my life to help me. we come up with a plan to wean myself off we took a little off each day correction each month sorry about that. Sometimes I feel like I can’t do this anymore I have tried to go to NA meetings I love going to NA meetings but I feel like the people at the NA meetings go there cuz they’ve been forced to I don’t feel like they trying to come off their problems. I would feel like I’m in this fight by myself sometimes I get suicidal thoughts on my mind I would not do that I’m hoping to be clean soon. so I can start over in my life so I can be happy and do the things I love to do before I got addicted to the opiates. I used to love to ride my motorcycle and just seeing different parts of this country I used to love to travel I just seen the beautiful inside of this great nation and the friends I used to hang out with don’t like to be around me no more cuz I’m trying to get clean l I got no friends to me that’s the part that’s dying it’s me.

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Robert, thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry to hear about the pain and struggles you are dealing with right now. It is amazing that you are able to open up here in the community. This truly is a place of caring and loving people. I don’t know if I can provide much advice because what you are going through is unique to you. I do want you to know that there is hope and that even just one person can help you through this rough patch of life.

Please know that this won’t last forever. You can keep dreaming of getting back on your motorcycle and traveling the country. Let that motivate you to continue to seek help to get through these challenges.

Robert, you are loved and cared for by God, each and every day, even if you can’t always sense or feel that. Even in my darkest days, which are many, I feel a small sense of peace that as a community, we can get through this together.

Peace be with you Robert and please have hope and keep your wonderful dreams alive! You are amazing just as you are!

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Opioids is my drug of choice, the fact that you were able to even start weaning yourself is amazing. I attend NA meetings for my addiction, and honestly, I’m actually the opposite. I don’t so much enjoy going to the meetings, but, I don’t do it because I’m forced to… No one is forcing me to do it… If those people didn’t want to be there, believe me, they wouldn’t be. I’ve skipped out on meetings before because I didn’t want to be there.
Step 1 -> “We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable” < WE ADMITTED. Not “my friend told me” Everyone in those meetings has admitted that to themselves before stepping foot in those meetings… otherwise they wouldnt be there because, why would they if they didn’t believe they had a problem? Before they open share time, they say “look for the similarities not for the differences” this is EXACTLY the reason why. because when we look at those differences, this doubt that you’re talking about happens and you start to miss out on your recovery… stop looking at the difference, you’re all there to recover, whether a person is 12 years clean or relapsing everyday… “The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop using” < if they don’t have that, they wouldn’t be there.

I had to drop a few friends in order to save my recovery… Keep going to those meetings, you will make new friends. It’ll be worth it.

Hold Fast.
Kayla

Hi Robert, here is a copy paste of what I shared in the video response to you. It didn’t get read in the video so I wanted to share it here. (Which will be posted and shared later so you can hear it)

“I can understand how hard it is though to be around people who aren’t ready to move on and get better when you are. Because I easily fall into feeling like they do. It’s hard to find positive energy and be present with people who aren’t ready. But maybe they just need some inspiration. Hopefully through your strength to get better and make a change you can be an influence and inspiration on them and their recovery”

So much love to you. Stay strong. You are not alone. We are here to love and support you.

  • Kitty

Hey @Robert85 here is our discussion from my stream earlier today. If you’d like the artwork, I’d love to send it to you! Email me: [email protected]

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Continuing the discussion from Pain and so afraid:

What’s up Robert ?
I just have a couple questions to ask you because I myself are on opiates. How did you get addicted to the opiates did you receive an injury or something along those lines with the doctor prescribed them to you? That’s what happened to me I got into a very very bad car accident and the only thing they can do is pain management. I’m at the point now where I want to stop taking the medication but when I do I’m in so much pain it’s unbelievable. I’m kind of stuck in between a rock and a hard place at the moment because they say if they were to try surgery it’s just too much of a risk of me being paralyzed. So for the last 13 years I’ve been on opiates. Believe it or not Robert I never did any drugs whatsoever before any of this happened not even smoking weed. But I give it up to you man if you wanna stop it you can do it buddy it’s just gonna take a little time and some serious dedication. Whatever you do do not quit cold turkey you could send your body into shock and you could have a seizure or even possibly die. If you feel more comfortable talking one on one just email me because I would like to talk to you a lot more about this stuff. Hope to hear from you soon buddy take it easy