The people I first found scary are even less scary than the people that scare me at my school. I completley forgot how crazy people were, and how lucky I am to be around just mildly crazy people. Someone here reminds me of my psychopathic ex best friend, exactly like them. This makes me feel like I’d be so much safer being around a creep than a crazy person. Shit I’d be releived to be around a creep than a demented disturbed person. Scratch that, I’d fucking HUG them, because at least I can deal with a creeps shit. At least they have some fucking godamn sanity and maybe a bit more control. Is it because they have emotions? Idk but they’re so much safer than fucking psychopaths. God I thought I was done with this shit.
They’re so intuitive yet they are so demented. I guess that’s what a psychopath does. Idk what to do, I don’t want to be around people, I don’t want to be around this person. But they’re nice and so two faced. They help people and then threaten in a split second. They say I’m too innocent and they don’t want me to be innocent anymore and want to basically teach me the ways of adulthood, and get me with someone. I have no interest in this because first off, whether it’s pointless or not I already like someone, yes it may be meaningless but my feelings are still fucking valid. Second I’m fucking demisexual I can’t just like someone because “they look cute”. I know they mean well they say they just want to boost my self confidence but they are scaring the shit out of me and I feel like if I tell them they will target me instead. Ik on their mind they want me to be afraid, it’s part of their game. They clearly find happiness in messing with other people’s lives. This is why I hate people. I can do nothing because I know everyone will just leave me when I need help. I’m left with this on my own. I’m alone. Again. My headmates are with me but they don’t know what to do either. We only have one person that can solve this, the persecutor. This is my last option. I may just have to let this alter back into my life. I don’t know if it will help though, it may make things worse but I’m not sure I will care when they show back up and save my ass from others. I’m alone in this. Maybe I really should stay away from people. Maybe I’m not meant to have friends.
Update: my mom came in the room and screamed at me because I haven’t eaten and since I don’t tell her anything she just thinks I’m obsessed with computers and got pissed off at me for it. I seriously saw red and almost slashed my throat when she left. I really hope I don’t do anything stupid. I’m so unstable right now.
Yeah, best case scenario, creeps know they are creepy, often unapologetically. Crazy people usually don’t know that they are nuts. They can cause havoc while believing they are curing the world’s ills. If you let them, crazy people will really mess with your emotions. I don’t think it’s possible to get away from crazy people, especially since it’s rare to find anyone who isn’t crazy at least some of the time.
So, if it’s consistency and predictability that you are after, it will have to come from within you. That can help prevent the antics from others from causing you upset. I have an unpredictable daughter-in-law, in fact, she is predictably unpredictable. I think people who are like that are easier to put up with then those who seem very sane, then unexpectedly get weird.
I think the challenge is to maintain your own balance and centeredness while being around unbalanced people. It is doable, but it takes practice.
When others try to “help” you, and what they are offering is not helpful, it’s best if you politely, yet with firm assertiveness, explain to them that you are determined to follow your own path to wisdom and peace of mind.
I think what’s scaring the shit out of you are the expectations of others, and those expectations present an unfair burden. You don’t have to accept those burdens. It’s your life after all.
What’s scaring the shit out of me is the things he’s done. How okay he is with it and acts like he did nothing wrong. He’s a horrible person and he did almost exactly what my ex best friend did to me, except he was actually able to kill them. He’s hurt people, some for good reasons, others for his amusement. He says “Once you let me in, I ain’t leaving.” And brags about how he can and has teared someone’s life apart piece by piece and saved them for last. He’s a horrible person and then suddenly he tells me how he’s worried about me and he wants me to pass college and how he has “so much empathy for others”. He has his reasons for being fucked up sometimes but most of the time he’s just psychopathic. Then he starts talking like a pedo and says “Oh you don’t understand you’re just not an adult yet.” This has nothing to do with expectations but the fact that he’s insane and triggering my PTSD like fucking hell.
He’s not afraid of talking about how he’s ruined people’s lives and instead of saying that “I can ruin their life” he says “I can ruin your life.” I fucking hate him and I hate that he wants to help me and be my friend, I don’t want anything to do with this demented scumbag. I doubt he’s even aware of his own bullshit because they’re usually not. He talks vulgarly about people and how he tells them off and how he hates them and how they’re shitty and suddenly he’s like “Oh no I love her she’s a good person” and then next minute says something vulgar and disgusting about her and gaslights me when I say, “You’re talking about how you don’t want people to attack eachother but you’re going around and attacking her.”
I wake up in the morning and become desensitized, luckily he’s not in class today bc he’s sick which scared me at first because I got worried but I’m so fucking tired of the worst people being considered the nicest people ever. I’m so tired of people judging others for no fucking reason other than manipulation and rumours, and I’m tired of him talking about how he’d never cheat on his fiancé but says “Oh this guy is so yummy!” And proceeds to say “Oh but he’s not even legal, and I have a boyfriend, soooo- but he’s so sexyyyy! And if I had a chance I’d eat him up!!!” Fucking dude ain’t even verbally loyal to his boyfriend, you don’t go around saying you’re in love with someone and then fucking talk about fucking someone else istfg. But you know what? Maybe I don’t get it, maybe it is bc I’m young, but still, that ain’t right and I’m not fucking stupid. I know he’s fucking dangerous either way.
Your reactions to his behavior whether positive or negative, are encouraging him to remain present in your life. Your description of him fits a sociopath, and he sounds like a sociopath who also has psychopathic episodes.
If you tell him to go away, odds are he will take it as a challenge, and will try and convince you that you can’t get rid of him.
At the moment, the only thing I can think of to do is to become very dull and boring when he’s around. Remain calm. Some of the things that he is telling you – the horrible things, are either a conscious or subconscious attempt to intimidate you. Do not act surprised or mortified when he reports his wrongdoing. Instead, let him know that such bad behavior is what you have come to expect from him.
Eventually, he’ll realize that he can no longer entertain himself by manipulating your emotions. At that point, he’ll probably depart and look for another victim. Sooner or later, he’ll run into someone who is better at playing his game than he could ever hope to be. That will certainly change his perspective.
Try not to ever be alone with him. I think it would be good to talk to the school counselor or therapist about how this guy is causing you stress. I doubt if you are the only person he’s tormented. Once alerted to the problem, they might start watching him.
You said he has reasons for being fucked up, but that doesn’t give him the right to fuck other people up.
Again, don’t react in ways that reward his behavior. Getting upset rewards his behavior.
Take good care of yourself! Stay safe!
Yea fuck this shit I’m letting Mori handle it.
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