People keep leaving me

[Annie]

Recently I found out that someone very close to me was lying to me. I wasn’t mad and didn’t make it into a big deal… I never even got a chance to talk to them about it because they blocked me on everything and no longer want to be apart of my life. It hurts cause this person mattered to me so incredibly much. I’m not trying to make myself into a victim but I’ve been left so much that I could feel this coming but I didn’t want to believe it. This person promised me that they would be here and would never hurt me and that they knew how it felt to be going though all I’m going through…

My friend who was the only person I’ve told everything fully to and opened up to leaving me really really hurts. I know this seems like a petty problem but I’ve been crying for weeks, I wake up crying, and at work I had such bad chest pain from stress I almost went to the hospital. My other friend is not helping me at all and telling me to get over myself. And not only that, she’s showing his texts to her about how he doesn’t care anymore to everyone in her dorm… my pain to her is entertainment.

It’s hard to explain the situation fully… but I’m hurting so badly and this friend was the only person who made me feel loved and who I truly opened up to. Now I feel embarrassed that I trusted him and completely worthless. I’m tried of feeling used and I’m tried of people throwing me aside. If none of these people could love me why would anyone else be able to? I don’t understand why I’m so hard to love. I’m not a dramatic person, I don’t seek attention, Idk…

I’m always smiling, I’m always going out of my way for people who wouldn’t even step over a puddle for me. Don’t get me wrong I love being there for others I’m not Complaining. But for once I want someone to look at me and look past my smile and see that I’m really hurting. I know others have it worse… and I’m sorry if this is really self absorbed but Ive had so much going through my head for so long and I can’t deal with it anymore… and I don’t have anyone to get it all out too… so yeah. Thank you.

[Stephtron]

I am so sorry. It is so hard and hurtful when friends let us down and I am sorry that this has happened to you. I do know that you are loved, i might not know who is in your life that cares about you, but they are there. Also know that nobody is perfect and no one person can be perfectly there for us when we are feeling low.

The fact that you have been feeling so low for so long, i would like to encourage you to get in touch with your family doctor or medical practitioner that you trust. It is important to know whether there are physical conditions that are contributing to you feeling so down and not being about to climb out of the pit you’re in. They can usually help.

It can be hard for people to see when you’re hurting. Sometimes our pain is perceived as pushing others away - I have had to learn this the hard way.

I know i don’t have answers for you, and i know you’re hurting. know that you’re not alone. There are always people here at Heart Support who can listen with compassion and without judgement.If you feel like you don’t have anyone to talk to in your immediate social circle, you can come here. I know what it’s like to feel like i have nobody to talk to, and it’s a dark feeling. There are some really fantastic people here to chat with.

You are not unlovable.