Xaii: I want friends but people stress me out. I have a classmate at my school who I call and he is trying to get me to talk to more people but they’re making me uncomfortable. I know they mean well but I don’t feel safe around them at all. Yestdersay they gave me a nickname that made me dysphoric and I kept saying I didn’t like the name and they said that was just “my opinion”. So I just said I’d be more comfortable if someone I liked called me that name and that’s what made him drop it.
I’ve noticed he does this sort of thing where he talks all about himself over and over and then wants to claim your stuff as his own. Like how he did with my identity. It makes me uncomfortable, because it shows me how he really is.
Kio: Bro that’s OUR fucking name, that’s our identity, our identity isn’t a fucking “opinoin” and it ain’t your choice. He acts like he owns everyone, it pisses me off.
Xaii: He reminds me of my abusive ex best friend, and it’s making me very stressed out. I can already see the repitition and resembelence of him and that scumbag. Popular, Talking to me for hours on end about the same thing, obsessing over guys and sex, obsessing over people he hates and calling them vulgar names, talking about his problems or just talking so much when you try to say something he talks over it. talking about stuff that’s vulgar and triggering. I can tell that’s the stuff he focuses on the most. And then he says he’s an empath. The biggest thing that triggers me too. Because my ex best friend said that too, and was a fucking psychopath. I can see behind the veil. He doesn’t even know how he’s acting. I don’t want to be the asshole but I’m tired of taking the blame for others people’s issues, and then being called an asshole for it. And in this case getting in trouble for “wanting no friends”. I just don’t feel safe around him, it makes me more and more closed off around people, around classmates I wanted to get to know. I’m scared and I just want to take it slow but he says, “That’s not a good reason to not want to show people how amazing you are.” I get it. I get he wants to help but people scare me. I just want to sit near people who can understand that and take it slow with me, I don’t want alot of friends. I just want to take it slow. Go easy on me you know? Don’t attack me. And he’s really nice, he helps people with things, he cares about his family, he’s currently helping me with class, but I don’t want to use him. Idk what to do and it’s making me more and more closed off to people and harder to trust him. Making me just want to be around my headmates and no one else.
Hi! Im so sorry about how this person is making you feel. In my opinion with the little knowledge on the situation you have shared would say, you should talk to him about boundaries and be stern about it. Tell him its not okay when he is trying to push something like a nickname that makes you dysphoric. Ans I think its okay to let him know if he keeps it up and does not listen or respect you that you’ll have to stop being friends. You matter. You should have healthy relationships and be respected. I get sometimes its hard to find friends, ive been there many times before. Sometimes its better to be more alone than with people who stress you. In time you’ll find the right people and right friends <3
Idk, I might just be paranoid again. I guess I get scared people don’t have emotions because of what happened, so I keep my gaurd up so much I stress myself out, and then I hurt others… Idek, I feel scared but I’m just so fucking stupid. It’s hard to even think people actually genuinely care about me unless I see it in there eyes.
My other friend told me to take it easy and not let my thoughts get ahead of me, because that’s what it sounded like I was doing. But that it was okay to feel the way I felt, but to remember everyone has their own personality and their own way to cope with things. And that’s what I learned today. I guess I’m just still assuming people don’t have emotions. I’m just blocking me from myself… I had a good day but now I just feel bad about my friend. I hurt people trying to protect myself and it just makes me hate myself even more. This is why I shouldn’t be around people. I wish I could get out of my own head. Maybe there’s a way to get rid of myself but keep my other headmates? I’m sure they can function better than me. But of course they would never allow me to do that. Just tell me to “grow up” and face it. I probably do need to do that, I’m just, so confused.
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