Petty idiot, petty stupidity, petty reason

As the title suggests it’s stupid, yet somehow manages to make me bawl and consider my existence. I know what’s wrong and I know what I need to fix, but I don’t have any motivation to fix it. My teacher for online school is strict but energizing, and he’s a good teacher but I feel like i’m just dragging the progress down. The only thing I ever got a good mark this year was in math and that’s because I used a fucking calculator. In fact, I turned off my camera during an excercise just to write this useless paragraph. I have no hobby and I’m better of just not going to school. Stress piles up as I’m being stupid and it gets to the point where I didn’t submit a project because it was ‘cringy’, and it was an excercise video but I’m overweight and didn’t want to show it to my class. My friend said “Your brain does have a storage capacity, its 500TB”, but I feel like mine is about 1MB sometimes. Homework starts piling up but I procrastinate. The way I cope with my mother and father being dissapointed is the one thing that they don’t want me to do which is play video games. My teacher’s slightest dissapointment sends me feeling like shit. My parents I can withstand and even though my teacher and parents tell me ‘Don’t rush through life’ and ‘growth mindset’, and ‘try your best.’ My family is dissapointed in me for not having something to work on and also my teacher thinks i’m just… stupid. In fact I am. I’m not good at anything and will probably end up in some homeless shelter in the future. I feel like I need to take a gap year but I’m in grade 7, and even if I do i’ll come back being laughed at. My 2 best friends made it into a private school while i’m stuck in that unenergizing mind of my own. My friends strive to be the best while i’m falling dead weight. Hope I can start over or some shit. Just wanna get through the year. Have to go do work now.


I am also going through something like that with the homework
I don’t know how to get out of it…

I don’t think your stupid because the only people who are really “stupid” are the people who don’t think before they say hurtful things.

Thank you. I spent the entire break weeping and criticizing myself. Hope you have your problem fixed as well.

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