The guilt I always feel over important and even normal daily things not getting done because my body and mind don’t work the way I need them to… And the fear I feel over people calling me lazy or spreading rumors because they see me as careless…Some people are hateful enough that they would go so far as to call me neglectful as a way to light a fire under my ass and force my hand into doing things I’m not physically or mentally capable of at any given time. Why do the few negative, powerful voices always scream louder than the multitude of kind and understanding ones?
Welcome back! I like your screen name although I believe you are much more than a mouse.
If you have difficulty accomplishing “normal daily things,” help may be available, but I doubt if it will come from those who badmouth you because you don’t live up to their expectations. There is no reason to feel guilt because you are having difficulties, just as there is no reason to feel guilty for having a physical injury that limits you.
Guilt, shaming, rumors, and accusations do much more to debilitate a person than it does to empower them. Guilt leads to negative self expectations, and can train the subconscious to sabotage efforts to improve.
Perhaps you and I have something in common, ADHD, which can make it really difficult to stay on task. Others may see it as being careless, but it is in fact a genuine problem that can be treated through counseling and learning coping strategies.
Why do negative voices scream louder? Perhaps you should do a keyword search on the “Dunning Kruger” effect. It reminds me of a common descriptive phrase, “often wrong, but never in doubt.” I guess another way of putting it is that they substitute loudness for critical thinking and emotional intelligence.
I do admire your acknowledgment of “the multitude of kind and understanding one’s.” Those are the ones to whom you should listen.