Pissed off so much aarrhh why

seriously not a ocmpltel fucking sentence?? It’s bad enough I’ve got no one to vent to right now, I can’t even post something anonymously here because there’s something wrong with the body of the text? FUCK YOU FUCK EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE I HATE THIS FUCKING PLANET

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Hey there @Aqua95,

I’m sorry if you’re having issues with posting what you’d like to share. Could you explain to me what happened? I’d like to help if that is possible and if you allow me to.

Technical issues can be really upsetting. Don’t let it prevent you from reaching out though. I hear your anger. But if you want a conversation to happen, you can try again to post and there will always be someone to respond to you and to encourage you.

I hope you can release this anger in a healthy way. If anything, this community is here.

Hold Fast. :hrtlegolove:

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Hi Aqua95
I know you are angry at everybody right now. Try to breath slowly and tell us what happend. We are here for you. Your voice will be heard here. It obviously must be something serious. Just let your words flow. Emotions are complicated it does not matter if your explanation is a bit messy. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Honestly I’m just drained and tired of fighting. I can’t be a part of this system, these rules due to the pandemic, I feel watched, controlled, I can’t even get a normal job to try and feel more present with people face to face because I wouldn’t be able to breathe and being vaccinated isn’t an option and I hate my mum sometimes for leading me down the path of music because it’s led me nowhere, and I miss seeing people perform and I have no money and my laptop is on its way out and I sometimes I wonder if I 'll be able to live with a dude again and I kinda hate men because I’ve experienced abuse and rape and the one time I took someone to court it led to nothing and it was a horrific experience. Every time I try and do something right there is no worthwhile outcome, and it seems the only people who succeed or have money or are able to enjoy life are those who cheat their way through. I just can’t fight anymore, my mind, body, soul are exhausted. I want to stop and be homeless and just fucking leave everything and be alone away from this horrific society and way of life. I DIDN’T ASK TO BE BORN, WHY DO I HAVE TO SUFFER? It’s a constant battle of making enough money to barely get by, and god forbid one thing goes wrong then you’re totally screwed. I’m lost, and I don’t want to do anything.

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Aqua I feel you :disappointed_relieved: I truly do. I understand the frustration the feeling of unfairness. There were many times in my life when I wondered why was i even born and wished to die. There is so much hate and anger in you and I understand why… you are sad tired and depressed and I am so sorry you are feeling this way :disappointed_relieved:.

I want to ask you what would you like to do. Do you have any dreams or goals. They might be small but still. I also wanted to tell you that covid is not going to be here forever. It is allready backing away. I wanted to ask why being vaccinated is not an option? Is it because of a medical condition or is there another reason?

I really wish things were better for you. I think you should try therapy. It might help you deal with your problems and find a solution that you will be willing to agree on. It has helped many people and it might help you.

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I’m currently going to therapy and on my second month of medication for depression… Things have felt better and more stable until some things changed recently and now I’m completely lost, crying and filled with anger. I don’t want to justify why I won’t take the vaccine. It’s just a shitty time. And tired of trying to lie to myself that my goals and dreams are anything but a construct made to further push me into a mindset of competition and greed and attention. I can’t make a living off of singing/songwriting, I don’t have the connections, the charisma or the drive for anyone in the industry to give a fuck. I just don’t fit in anywhere. I like streaming but that’s becoming a no-no if my laptop decides to die. I don’t know. I hope the solution and positivity will come back soon. Thanks for responding.

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Hi. I know exactly how you feel. I’m feeling the exact same way right now. I am very unstable because I can’t take things like this. It’s just not right that this world is so upside-down. The worst people can live happily while the best suffer under the worst. It really does make you question why you exist. But I came to one conclusion recently. We may hate that we have to be here, but if you have had parents that wanted you to be born, it kinda gives you a bit of a purpose to be here. If you have nothing to start off on. If they didn’t, life did. And this world can be terrible, well, it mainly is terrible. And it’s terrifying that it only gets worse, which is why we feel this way. I hate it too. I don’t like men much either as they are the main reasons I’ve dealt with this bullshit my whole life. I really wish I could help, but I can’t really see much we can do aside from comfort eachother through all this to the very end, as I’m slowly feeling there is no way to stop or reverse it or fix it. I wish we could though. If anything.
I can’t give the best advice, but I can relate, and I hope for you to feel better soon.
-X

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It does help knowing someone else feels the same way, as much as I hate that you go through the same thing. When I go through a phase like this I feel insane and ungrateful and lonely, but as I said, this is reassuring, so thank you.

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Thank you to you too. Its reassuring to know I’m not alone in these constant phases of stress, and still wanting to help the world even so. It gives me a little hope. ^~^
-X

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