@Heartsupportwall I struggle with addiction, anger, depression, and suicidal ideation. Have been depressed as long as I can remember. I feel like a burden and an inconvenience to my family. I feel like a disappointment to God. Every day I teeter back and forth between feeling fine and feeling hopeless. Several times a day in fact. Life is hectic.
Opening up cannot be easy when Life feels like this for you, I am sorry you are going through a rough time right now. I’ve been there, sometimes everything just feels off or wrong, When we’re at the mercy of addiction, everything can feel unsurmountable.
And it feels so real in the moment, like the sun can never shine again, and then whoop, like a lightswitch it comes back up and you feel happier again.
God loves everyone, dissapointment is not in his vocabulary I believe, otherwise, why would forgiveness and compassion be? Maybe a little forgiveness and grace for yourself can be a good first step, you can always write here, or on our forum, if you want some community, we’re here to love you.
How about letting go of self-judgement ?
I have done some aweful things under the influence, and even sober, and some days I could only go one breath at a time to keep going. and now things a better for more days, I found sobriety, one day at a time, with community, without judgement, going strong 5 years. If I did it from where I was, I believe you can offer yourself some time to work things through.
What is one thing you’re proud of ? And onne thing you can forgive yourself?
I wish you healing for your hard time, and better days ahead, if you need we are here.
With lots of Love, Thank you for having the courage to open up
Thanks for opening on here and one thing I can say is that you are definitely not a disappointment to God. I am not an overtly religious person, but I can tell you that he loves you through thick and thin. And in general I would say just allow yourself to give yourself grace and be less hard on yourself, which I know from my own experience does not feel easy.
And how does your family support you? You are not a burden to them and if they are not as receptive to your struggles there is always a community here that loves you.
And I can say that a lot of times addiction, anger, and depression can go hand and hand with each other as each is like a neverending triggering loop. I’ve had my own issues with abusing alcohol, which in turn triggered my own anger, anxiety, and depression. What is one thing you could potentially do to break the cycle?
Teetering back and forth is always a see-saw battle and is a hard cycle to break, but you have a huge support network here and if there is anyone you trust in your life that can help you never be afraid to ask for help. You’ve taken a huge first step in posting on here so that is a huge victory in itself.
I hope you are able to find some healing and we are always here if you need anything.