@Heartsupportwall I fantasize about the end of my life almost daily, and I wish I could articulate why, but maybe typing it here instead of keeping it in my head is a good thing.
Hey friend, thank you so much for posting and reaching out. As you said very well: typing some of your most vulnerable thoughts and sharing them can be a good things. It’s a very special and important step you’ve taken right there. You are acknowledging something that you could try to hide or dive in, but you don’t. Suicide ideation especially can be isolating and dangerous because of it. Slowly, our mind tricks us with the belief that the end of our life is the only exit way, the only way to find peace again, which is not true. It’s just more difficult to see our options when our mind starts to be stuck in that kind of loop.
As a random stranger on the Internet who intimately understand how it feels to experience such thought son a daily basis, I want to say that I’m freaking proud of you for reaching out, being vulnerable, being honest the way you did right there. It is truly admirable and I hope with all my heart that this will only be a first step to you. One that opens a door to something new and different in order to break down that cycle in a healthy way. You deserve to be heard. You deserve support. You deserve to work on the things that brought you to this daily ideation. It is possible to find peace and healing in this life, with the right support. Please know that it’s okay to ask for help. Never be ashamed for struggling because ultimately we all do, and we’re all humans. How you feel doesn’t make you less than anyone. You are not failing. You are thriving brilliantly by considering the possibility to reach out. It takes a lot of strength. Well done, friend. May it be the beginning of a healing journey to you. May this post be foor you the proof that reaching out is safe and okay.
You are loved. Beyond any struggle and beyond any dark thought. You are deserving of a good life. Don’t let these thoughts take the best of you. They don’t deserve you, your energy, your time or your heart. You are so worthy of love, and life.