Thank you so much for sharing this! As a lifelong sufferer of depression and anxiety it helps so much to hear the stories of others. @Heartsupportwall My depression has been worsening due to physical health problems and getting no answers. It’s kept me from doing my ECT treatments, which is the only thing that seems to help. Going back next week for a treatment and praying the nausea and headaches don’t get the best of me after.
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Gah, facing the constant unknown with physical health issues can be a crippling reality…how do you know how much more strength to give? How do you fight to believe in hope when there are no real answers? How do you persevere today when it feels like you may have to face this…potentially forever? How do you fight when it feels like just /today/ is sapping all of your strength? And then when you’re facing depression underneath/on top of all of that…it just feels like life can be too hard to handle, too heavy to get up. You wish some days that if you were to just stay down, maybe someone would come pick you up instead of you having to do it yourself. There is a fantasy of an easier life, and waking to a reality that is harder than it was yesterday can be so defeating. It’s impressive that you find the strength to face what you have to face every day and keep going. To keep showing up. To keep believing that better is POSSIBLE. I am proud of your fight, even if it feels ugly some days. You are still in this fight. And that is powerful. That despite all of the weight on your back you manage to stay on your feet. I’m hoping with you that answers will come and that this will all be worth it. And that in the meantime, you’re cultivating a depth of courage and perseverance few will ever know.
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