I am so tired of being up all night missing someone who played games with my head and my heart. I am so tired of confusing myself wondering if she really said the things I know she said or really felt the things she said she felt. And the most heartbreaking part of it all is that she came back… said she missed me, said she wanted us, and then immediately as soon as I trusted it and let myself fall she stepped out again and made me think it was all in my head; made me feel like a creep or like I was wrong for saying the things she said she missed hearing from me.
She acts like I never apologized for arguments we had, never took accountability or tried to talk it out. It was just one day wanting to marry me and the next wanting nothing to do with me. She made no attempt to talk to me or work on things she did that hurt me. I know I’m better off.
I just don’t understand how someone can go from so hot to so cold and never even dignify the person they threw out like old garbage with a single honest conversation.
Man, trust me when I say I went through something so similar that it’s scary. I got played and lead on by someone I truly loved. We didnt know each other for long but it was strong. Between both of us. Things were going great and then literally overnight, things changed. She grew distant, talked less and less, and eventually just left. I was left with no explanation what so ever, no closure or anything. It hurts man, even 4 months later, it still hurts every single day but I learned something. Strengthen yourself, love yourself, and be yourself. Dont rely on others for your happiness because youll be let down over and over again. The best things come in life when youre already happy with who you are, not things that you rely on to make you happy. Nothing can make you happy but your own thoughts and actions. I can tell you have a heart of gold man, don’t let a bad relationship ruin that. This world is crazy these days with dating but keep true to yourself, never settle, find your worth and be the king you were always destined to be, brother
I’ve asked the “why” question so many times when I’ve been dumped. If the person dumping me would have just said “I don’t know why” l could accept that because they are acknowledging that they are taking responsibility for their action of dumping me.
Not to diminish your pain or suffering because that is indeed to be expected, however learning how to live without knowing why is important. It essentially applies to anything that happens that you don’t feel you deserve. If you are honest with yourself and can say hey, I could have been better at doing this or that, then you know your role in it. Communicate that to them and if you don’t get a response then you must let it go. No response indicates that the other person simply does not have enough emotional intelligence to reach the level of closure you are asking for.
Absolutely, I hear you. The thing is, I did reach out like that and they came back and said they really appreciated what I said and loved me and missed me… and then ghosted again. Now they randomly text me things and show up in group chats with me and act like nothing ever happened. It’s bizarre but yes the moment I’m happiest are the ones when I realize “this really has nothing to do with me” she has healing to do and isn’t ready to have honest conversations yet. And that’s not something I can do anything about but be happy and content with myself and my effort/
Thank you, this really helped. Your words were a lot of comfort. As much as we wouldn’t want this situation to happen multiple times it’s nice to know we’re not alone.
Thank you guys for taking the time to do this, laying down and listening to you guys talk was so soothing and helpful. This was the hang out with friends and hear empathy that I needed. I especially loved relating to your story, Morgan. And your advice from Sarah was really grounded and reminded me to keep moving. Appreciate it a lot.
