Pls kill me already

i swear i just wanna blow my brain up with a gun more than anything
this life is a fucking joke who the fuck thought making me born was a good idea fuck everyone who had a role on my birth fuck this life i’d kill myself more peacefully so many times already if i had the little joys in life yet that i always wanted to but it’s even more humiliating to die without doing any of em. man please something kill me please i can feel my brain eating itself FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

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i wish i was never fucking born. had i known that this world is exclusively joyfun for certains ones to live a life spoiled with everything and exclusively disgusting and nothing but pain for ones who aren’t as lucky

imma quote Eren again

Hey @Yerdeniz,

I’m so sorry that you’ve been going through such a rough time lately. Are you safe right now?

Please make sure to reach out to a crisis line if the thoughts of hurting yourself are becoming overwhelming. You truly deserve to protect and take care of yourself, especially during times of deep vulnerability. :hrtlegolove:

Youre not alone in feeling this way. Please please use the wonderful resources and tools Heartsupport has to offer. You’re gonna get through this and look back one day and be so thankful for every hard day you’ve pushed through. I promise you.

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i hope so. i’m just too fucked up i keep fantasizing about killing myself all day. it’s 4am now and im scared to go to sleep bc i get horrible flashbacks every time i try to sleep it’s hell

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Please don’t do what you said you are going to do. You are only human. And you are LOVED by everyone here! I believe in you. And I know you can push through these hard times!:heartpulse:

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You’re not fucked up @Yerdeniz. You are struggling, but that will never define who you are as a human being and your own value. You are so much more than this pain and dark thoughts, friend.

Would it help to write down and share about those flashbacks? Sometimes, just putting into words the memories, images and sensations that make us feel stuck can help us create a distance with it, even if it’s just a little bit at the moment. This is a safe place to share, always.

I hope the rest of the night went better for you and that you manage to get some rest right now. <3

hey. thanks. the night was painful as always and so was the morning. just another day trying not to lose my mind pushing the limits of my brain see how much stress it can still take

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Hey @Yerdeniz, thinking of you today. I hope your mind has been more gentle to you yesterday and that you can feel more peace. There is no doubt that you’ve been trying your best to keep making it through despite this pain. It is an exhausting fight, and we are all proud of you for not giving up on yourself. :hrtlegolove:

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don’t be too proud bc imma disappoint y’ll when I suicide. I can’t live in this life with all the traumatic memories I can never ever accept this unfairness. what the fuck was my fault

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there’s nothing I wish more than never being born in this shit

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You’re going through a very rough time and I’m so very sorry that you are in so much pain right now. Trauma shapes the way we perceive the world around us, and also ourselves. It feels as if there is no way to feel in the world as it is or just under our own skin. Just like many before though, you will be able to heal and regain a sense of security that has felt lost for such a long time, without having to hurt yourself. This world and life can be intertwined with so much pain and it’s hard to see beyond it when we’re caught up in the middle of it. I still believe in you and in your ability to thrive and build resilience through it all.

Have you been on your own while dealing with these flashbacks and traumas? Does anyone in your life knows how you feel and could be a direct support to you? <3

my parents know but they dont care if i die bc they put me in hell themselves knowing how much it crushed my soul. I used to vent to my ex gf a lot but as of now she’s gone. onlyone I talk to everything is my cousin so i talk to him as much as i can and he’s very supportive

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From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hi Friend, I’m sorry that you’re feeling like you don’t want to be here anymore. I fight those thoughts too and I know how hard it is to think about going thru another day of pain. It sucks. I hope that you are able to find some peace in your life instead of pain and hardships. You deserve to be happy. ~Mystrose

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Hey Yerdeniz,

I am sorry that you are still struggling so hard with this. I am glad that you do have your cousin to talk to, and they are supportive to you. Friends can be the beacons that lead us out of the most trying times. A little light in the storm.

I do hope you are able to find your way out of the storm that you are weathering. You have a light of your own, and the world is absolutely a better place with it still shining. You matter, friend.

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend, I am sorry you are feeling so bad, so hurt, so angry. You life is worth living, you are worth more than you know and I would hate to think that a wonderful human being would take their life when they dont know what amazing things could come there way. Everyone has bad times in their life no matter what they have or where they live, this is not pointed at you alone. I wish you well. Lisa x

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From: Mamadien

Yerdeniz, life sounds incredibly painful for you. I’m so sorry that you find yourself in this place of pain and hopelessness. I want you to know that I hear what you are saying and I am grateful that you are still here with us. The world seems very dark and cruel to you in this time, but I would hope that you would be able to find a pathway out of this place that doesn’t include suicide. The world would not be the same without you. I see you and I hear you. I’m listening…

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