I don’t wanna self diagnose myself but I feel as if I had slight depression… I’m always in a sad funk and not wanting to be here. The only time I’m not in this funk is when I’m with my gf but I don’t get to see her much because she works third shift and I’m usually working as well. I have a doctors appointment on May 10th so I’m thinking about mentioning this to them and seeing if I’d be qualified for a therapist or smth. Ik I don’t have the funds to pay for a therapist though… so 
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Hi @alexgamer_hameowlton
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. Your concerns are definitely valid. It is definitely good that you have a doctors apointment. What you described are definitely symptoms of depression so its good that you want to talk about it with your doctor. It is definitely worth mentioning. Please tell us how it went 
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From: Rohini_868
Hi there,
It’s great that you have an appointment made, and I do hope that you get some answers from it! In the meantime, I’m glad that being with your gf brings you joy. Are there other things that you do that can give you some distraction and create little moments of joy for you? Gaming, art, gardening, reading, hiking, etc? What does your support system look like? Are there friends and family that you can hang out and chill with when you’re feeling in a funk?
I do hope that things improve, and I’m so glad you’re here with us. You matter!
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From: eloquentpetrichor
Hello, friend! Thank you for sharing about what you are thinking. I agree with telling your doctor about this. And your doctor may be able to help you find a cheap or free therapist at a clinic or something that would allow you to get help with these feelings even if you do not have money for it.
Do you have other friends besides your gf that you can spend time with to maybe cheer you up a bit when you cannot see your gf? I hope you find some way to enjoy your time and get out of this sad funk you find yourself in 
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From: Lisalovesfeathers
Hey Friend, thank you for your post, I would like to start by saying that if you are feeling very low and think you are feeling concerned please see if you can bring your Drs appointment forward, a month is a long time when you feel like that. Its a horrid feeling and im sorry that this is happening to you. Now that spring has arrived have you tried to get outside a bit more (that may sound very cliche and im sorry if it does as I hate being told to get out more) but if you are a person who likes nature it can really make you feel more upbeat to get ouside and breathe the air and see other things beyond the four walls of home even without your gf, maybe grab a coffee and walk in a local park? I know its hard to be motivated when you feel low. Your doctor should be able to suggest some therapy for you, we have a free 7 day therapy here if you sign up with betterhelp, ill pop the link at the bottom of this post, take a look and see if its of interest to you. I hope you do get some help. feel free to keep posting here with us. Much Love. Lisa. x
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The appointment isn’t exactly scheduled specifically for this issue. I should’ve said in my post that the appointment is just an annual physical appointment and May 10th is the soonest they could get me in.
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Well done for scheduling this appointment, @alexgamer_hameowlton. If something feels odd or affects your life negatively, it’s always worth it to talk to a doctor about it. Self-diagnosis is definitely risky.
Your doctor is likely to explore/eliminate possible physical reasons first, so expect to go through that process before being eventually referred to a therapist. This would be yet another potential step - one that you don’t need to worry about immediately. One step at a time, always.
It’s also a really good sign that you feel differently when you are with your girlfriend. It means you do experience positive/fulfilling emotions. Maybe there will be something to dig there about your own solitude and how you experience being alone. For many of us, it can be a very challenging experience but to be with ourselves.
Until your meeting takes place, what could you do to try to take care of yourself when you are not with your girlfriend? It doesn’t need to be a big thing. Just a little yet significant action to take in order to care for yourself a little more. Something that could help make the times when you are alone less overwhelming/uncomfortable or depressing.
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I do really like dancing to music a lot. Especially when I can act to the song and play with different emotions. I used to use art and animation as my safe place that makes me happy but now with bad art block, it’s not fun anymore. With work, I can’t listen to music all the time and sometimes I have to force myself to do it, but end up having fun anyhow.
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These are all AMAZING ways to embrace the time when you are on your own. I can relate to the pleasure of dancing so much. Whenever I allow myself to do it, it feels like it’s one of the rare times I can be myself, without any stress or sorrow. Just being, living in the moment. I’m glad you have this!
Art block is also a real thing. I’m sorry you’ve been facing it. Is it possible that you would need to try something new in your art & animation? A new technique, a new type of subject - something that would allow you to discover a new aspect of this hobby.
I’d encourage you with all my heart to keep cherishing and using those tools. Maybe even adding more to them with time. When we are in a relationship, we can be so fulfilled by the presence of our loved one, to the point of feeling completely empty when we are on our own. With my partner, for years at first I couldn’t stand solitude and silence. I needed to be always stimulated and with someone. Being in silence, having a walk outside or being on my own would make me feel sad, lost, as if something was missing. Took me a bit of time and practice to really learn to enjoy the times when I am on my own. There is a lot to discover within ourselves, that too often we forget to look at. I wish with all my heart that you will progressively meet yourself with love and care, and maybe even with the help of a counselor. In any case, this holds the potential of a very healing and fulfilling journey. But baby steps, always.
I believe in you.
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Thank you. I get to see my gf today as today is our 1 month anniversary. We’re thinking about having me stay the night or two nights over her house as well but not sure if that is a definite plan.
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Hope you have a wonderful time there and that it will fill you with strength and positive energy.
Also, happy first month anniversary! This is wonderful.
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