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Possible grooming/predation

So I’ve been dealing with a lot of trauma lately. I have met this person online on discord very early on my time there. I first started using discord when I was 11. I just wanted to join the discord that a YTer had because I liked his series and wanted to talk to him. After some time, a few months I met this person (let’s call N). N seemed normal at first but seemed to have a particular interest in me for some reason, I always thought it was since I was good friends with another person that helped said YTer in his series. But later he seemed to be getting a lot nsfw with his behavior and not much longer later I found a character that I took a liking to. That character (Evelynn from League of Legends) had a explicit behavior and I took after her. And I continued to behave like that since I would get funny reactions from the people that replied to my messages but then they got sick of it and told me to stop or muted me I can’t remember, bit either way N already started to send me weird nsfw things and not knowing better and being curious about sex I thought I could talk to them about things like that thinking they were my friend. They did mention that they were also 14 when I made it clear that I was 11-12 at the time but idk what age they really are. They also invited me to an NSFW server that they were in and not knowing better I ended up joining but left a few months later. A few months after I turned 13 it started getting worse and they started to dm me nsfw pictures of themselves and asking me really inappropriate questions that I started to ignore and then they unadded me and we haven’t talked for a few more months if not a year but I haven’t given it too much thought after that. However a few months I contacted them to ask about a mutual friend since I knew they were doing unwell and wanted to know what a little more since I didn’t wanna ask said mutual friend directly. Then he said some stuff about them and that was it but then they slowly started to send me nsfw and tell how they liked some gross stuff which I ignored and a few days later blocked them as I started feeling very uncomfortable with it and contacted that person that helped in the YTers series (I’ll call them V) and talked with them about it and they told me to block them and I did. Then they tried to contact me through a mutual friend X in public chat, which I asked then asked V and they told me to say that I’m not interested and that it doesn’t need to be public so I told X that and they said ok. X then DMd me and asked me why and I explained it to them and they said ok but they decided to remain friends with N and said that they wanna stay relatively out of the situation. N has deleted every message they DMd me ever so I can’t get screenshots but they have been banned from that specific server but I know that they are in other servers too.
I am 15 at the time of writting this and turned 15 in February.

Should I report them to discord staff? Were they a predator and was I groomed/abused? I’ve been kinda struggling with this stuff since it started again and idk what to do.
Thank you to everyone who read that and to everyone in advance.

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Hey @Shindu,

I’m really sorry that happened. N really had an appropriate behavior and seems to be very focused on NSFW stuff for some reason. You did the right thing by blocking them and taking your distance.

Should I report them to discord staff?

If you feel comfortable with it, then yes. The fact that they deleted their messages doesn’t really matter as you don’t have to share screenshots. However, you could also receive some help from admins of the servers where they were banned, as they might have a log of deleted/edited messages activated. I imagine if you reach out to them and share a bit of your issue, they’ll understand and will be willing to help you report them as well.

You can have all the informations you need about reports here: Discord Moderator Academy

Were they a predator and was I groomed/abused?

It would be hard to tell if they are a predator as in they’d repeatedly target people, but… they definitely had an extremely inappropriate and shady behavior with you. What they did was NOT okay.

What matters regarding the “abuse” label is how you feel about it. You are the one who is allowed to say how this experience impacted/impacts you. And if you’re unsure about it yet because you’re still figuring out/trying to make sense out of what happened, that’s okay too.

Take your time to process, and know that here is a safe place to talk about it. If you’re wiling to discuss more about how you feel, as you mentioned struggling with this, you’re more than welcome to do it. We’re willing to listen and support you. You’re not alone. :hrtlegolove:

Thank you so much for taking your time to reply and listen to me it means a lot! I’ve noticed that N also would like to agree with everything I liked, for instance I remember that they said they’d like a “mind link” since they knew I really like the hive mind trope. It could’ve been honest but I don’t really have a reason to believe that it was.

I have told the moderators and the server owner and they have been banned from that server. As for the report I think I’ll do it.

I feel a lot better now. Thank you so much for taking your time to listen and talk to me!

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