Im 20 years old and had sex for the first time. The guy i hooked up with happens to be my ex friend. We promise each other not to tell anyone and i took a plan b which i did. Me being me im scared that it wont be effect. And i dont know how to tell my mom about it i cant afford a kid at the moment. Im not in college im currently working but not financially stable. While the guy i hook up with is in college and working i dont want to hold him back from finishing collage. Im scared and alone in this. He doesn’t want a relationship nor kids while i wanted a relationship nor kids. Im confused and alone and scared and my mental health isnt great place neither.
hello there,
this must be a very scary time for you. Have you taken a pregnancy test or gone in to a clinic to be checked? That could help deal with some of your anxiety about not knowing. They can also help you with info on diff contraception options and how to keep yourself safe from stds etc.
We’re here, to support you, no judgement. And there are professionals out there whose job is to help persons in similar situations.
It’s a steep learning curve, this one, lots of new things hitting you all at once. But once you have armed yourself with the various options at your disposal to keep yourself safe and healthy, there will be less to worry about.
Oh @Hannah_cruz, I’m sorry you are dealing with this stress. You had a good reaction by taking plan b. However it makes totally sense to still ask yourself “what if?”. When my partner and I happened to face that risk, we couldn’t help but thinking about how it would be if I happened to be pregnant, what we would do, and if we even want kids or not… all these big questions that we feel suddenly pressured to ask ourselves.
To ease your stress - both yours and your boyfriend -, you will need to take some steps in order to not stay without any answer. Not knowing is what contributes the most to your stress right now, yet there are practical actions to take. As @Sita mentioned, you can get a test and do it by yourself at home, and/or see a doctor to get a blood test. Both pharmacists and doctors are equipped to guide you regarding when and how to do these tests. Your family doesn’t have to know - you are not a minor anymore and all of this can be done in total discretion.
It’s hard to not overthink, and even more to not think about what stresses us the most in such situation. Know that no matter what, we will be alongside you. You are not alone.
I’m in agreement with @Sita and @Micro! You are most certainly not alone in this! I came from a mostly conservative family and my boyfriend at the time wanted me for the wrong reasons. I was still in high school as well, so that didn’t really help matters. We were “safe”, but at that time I didn’t know that I was prone to missing my period, so I thought it was a possibility that I was pregnant. I also took the Plan B just in case. But it was still scary because I felt like I was alone in that situation. I was afraid my boyfriend wouldn’t stay; I was afraid that my parents would disown me and kick me out. I was 17 and they were all I truly had. There was no way that I could have supported myself.
You think I would have learned from that situation, but ya girl… … Well, six years ago, I thought I was starting to show symptoms of the flu (which I later found out was morning sickness), so I went to the doctor. She gave me the news that I was pregnant, and fear instantly hit me like an 18-wheeler. I immediately left to tell my boyfriend (now husband). It was the scariest thing in the world for me to tell him, but he didn’t react like I thought he would. He loved me, and held me. But the day wasn’t over because I still had to go through telling my parents as I was still living with them. It ended up better than I thought. I still had a home and my parents still loved me. That day, I found unconditional love, found out my sister had abnormalities that could have been cancer, and my favorite pawpaw died that night. It was an extremely difficult time for me, and that was when I was 23.
I said all this to let you know that I’ve seen both sides of the same kind of situation. One I knew I wasn’t ready for, and one I didn’t think I could handle yet I was unknowingly prepared for. It was a rough start becoming a mother that didn’t have anything but my husband and my parents’ support. I didn’t have a job; I didn’t know how to be a mom; It felt like the whole world was judging me for making bad decisions. It took me a long time to care less of what people thought verses what I knew about myself. I have become a stronger person and a good mom to my daughter. I am blessed to have a great support system.
You are a smart person to know what you can and cannot handle. And, you are not a minor, so you are free to make choices for yourself. It will help to talk to a doctor because they can give you definite answers that will ease your mind. They can also warn you about potential dangers or things you may experience. It may also help to keep a trusted person close that you can call or talk to when situations like these arise. It makes a huge difference having someone there to vent to or look to for guidance. And, not to sound like a broken record, but you are NOT alone here! You will always have someone here that you can talk to. You can message me at any time! I know this is scary, but keep moving forward. A lot of people freeze in fear, but there are those that use that fear to stay focused on what matters most. Let this propel you into focus on what you want for your life.
thanks for the update, hope your mind is at ease now.
Hoping that you also got some good info on methods to keep you safe and healthy for the future too, so that you can explore more with less of the worry!
… Well, six years ago, I thought I was starting to show symptoms of the flu (which I later found out was morning sickness), so I went to the doctor. She gave me the news that I was pregnant, and fear instantly hit me like an 18-wheeler. I immediately left to tell my boyfriend (now husband). It was the scariest thing in the world for me to tell him, but he didn’t react like I thought he would. He loved me, and held me. But the day wasn’t over because I still had to go through telling my parents as I was still living with them. It ended up better than I thought. I still had a home and my parents still loved me. That day, I found unconditional love, found out my sister had abnormalities that could have been cancer, and my favorite pawpaw died that night. It was an extremely difficult time for me, and that was when I was 23.