Post Conference Depression

I attended a Christian conference last week. It focused on sharing your faith and we had lots of outreaches where we went out and prayed for people and just encouraged people. I went alone but met a few people I quickly became friends with and felt like I had known for years, when I only had known them a few days. It was amazing. But now that I’m home, I’m having what’s similar to post concert depression. Only it’s post conference depression. These people talked with me and prayed for me for emotional healing. We went on outreaches together. I felt so connected to them. And it just pounded the reality that I haven’t been able to make deep friendships with people where I live. I’m frustrated. It’s like I am beyond grateful to have met these people. But it’s like why is everyone so far away, why never a friend like that where I live? It hurts so much. I also realized that my not having a desire to go back overseas maybe isn’t just that it’s not God’s will. But that that desire in me is covered with trauma and stress and anxiety and burnout that happened as a result of living there. I realized that when one of my new friends prayed over me and asked God to send me a guy to marry who is into missions. I also was just re inspired cause she’s a missionary who has traveled the world and we had that in common. I also am having a hard time going out and sharing my faith or even just asking people if they need prayer and praying for them like we learned. I was so inspired and encouraged and it’s like I don’t want to just come back home and be the same old. I knew before, but am even more convicted now, that loving on the students at work and serving them is amazing. But I was called to so much more. Jesus told us to go and make disciples of all nations. We aren’t meant to keep this to ourselves. I am a quiet introvert, so talking to people isn’t my strong point. But I want to share and don’t want to forget what I learned! (I am not saying I’d share with students cause it’s a public school. But I am talking about on my own time outside of work.) I got back Monday but have found myself crying so so much.

The prayer my new friends prayed over me made me feel the overwhelming love of God, it was like God touched me, my heart. The conference itself touched me. I no longer have the desire to drink alcohol like before I left for my trip. It’s awesome!

I also am somewhat doubting my faith at the same time.

I’m just one jumbled emotional mess.

I know exactly what you’re feeling. Having that inspirational period, being ready to change the world, and then just falling back into the same routine and comfortability that you had before. It’s one of the hardest parts of the Christian walk for me.

I am so scared to step out of my comfort zone. If I can reach people through areas that I’m comfortable and confident in, like music or A/V work, then I’m fine, but as soon as someone needs help with complex theological topics or needs help with something that’d require me to step over social boundaries, I’m too scared that I’ll mess up, and I miss that opportunity.

I don’t really have any good advice on this as I’m in the same boat. But I know it’s just social fear tied with the allure of comfort. Both aren’t good for us. We need boldness.

Austin

@MrTehRiddle Thanks for your response. It really helps to be understood. Everything you said in your last paragraph is so true. It’ll resonates so much with me.

I’m still struggling. Maybe even more so than before. I’m still frustrated cause I am having a hard time stepping out and being bold enough even to ask people if they need prayer (when I feel led). I decided to reach out and ask a pastor about joining a small group at the church I’ve been attending.To try to get to know people. But I’m so desperate and hungry for deep relationships and friendships, that I wonder if maybe I should have checked out other churches first to see if another is a better fit. But I haven’t. Cause I’m so desperate to be in community that I don’t want to take the time to do that. This church is good. It’s just that I wonder.

School starts in a couple weeks. That means back to work. I am such an emotional mess with this missions/adventurer desire reawakened on my heart (yet don’t think I’ve dealt with the trauma from what happened overseas when I was living there), feeling disconnected from God, frustrated that I still am too afraid to apply what I learned at the conference, and a desperate need for community where I’m loved, seen, and known. I’ve been crying so much. Didn’t want to get out of bed today. I feel like a slight, mild depression is setting in. Lord, help me.

Try the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If you find some missionaries, ask them for a priesthood blessing.