Progress on reacting and stating needs

My landlord is in the process of selling the house I live in and this has resulted in a lot of seeings of the house. Yesterday there was suddenly someone from the broker’s office to show the house while I wasn’t informed of them coming by… I had a massive anxiety attack, but was able to calm down a bit by drawing for 2 hours… It always makes me feel like I’m wasting time, when I try to calm down like that, but yesterday it felt less like that. Then after I had calmed down, I saw that my landlord had sent me a text that he was going to come by today for some things he needed to take care off… Today he came by and sent me a text 5 minutes after he left that 3 hours later there were going to be 2 seeings today… These things always make me feel unwelcome in my own house and space since I have no control and I’m not allowed to leave my room or be seen because I shouldn’t be there… Not only are there people in the house I live in that I don’t know, I also shouldn’t exist in my own space and take up too much space, or at least… that’s what it feels like… I decided today that it was a nice day out and went for a walk and ended up taking my pencils and sketchbook with me, to draw in the park… Then before I left I sent my landlord a text that I’d appreciate it in the future that I would like to be notified further up front… I didn’t explain why, but I know now that I need to know how to make time for calming down after a visit. That way I can still be productive on those days… (even though I didn’t tell this to the people involved… the fact that I even said anything is kinda… different… :speak_no_evil: )
I don’t know if that’ll work but at least I let them know now, right? Still feel anxious about everything though :speak_no_evil:


Heya, nyntje! Thank you for posting here.
First, I want to applaud you for establishing a boundary with your landlord - that takes a lot of guts!
It can be super uncomfortable to have strangers in your house, and it’s very reasonable to want to know in advance - having people present can really mess with plans, depending on what’s going on!
Please know that you are entirely valid in your response to that.
Rooting for you!


Hi there @nyntje,

Thank you for sharing this with us. It’s understandable that you’d find it stressful when people are visiting your house, particularly when you aren’t notified of those plans! I’d feel awkward too in those situations. With that said, I’m glad that you’re making time for yourself to draw after these visits; that’s a wonderful reaction and isn’t a waste of time in the slightest if it makes you feel better!

I think it’s completely reasonable to ask your landlord to tell you when people will be visiting, so I’m glad that you reached out and hope that they’ll be good about notifying you in the future.

Thanks again for sharing and being here; please keep us updated if anything further is on your mind!

<3 Tuna