This is going to be a longer post (been in the works for a few months), acting partially as an update from some of my previous posts, as well as a “thank you” to this wonderful community. It’s also partially an exercise for myself – to allow myself to take some pride in the events of the last year or two.
If you choose to this post, just read the bits that interest you – it’s long. This is largely a reflection for myself and goes in pretty random directions.
A Love Letter (If you only read one part of this post, read this)
Thank you to each and every one of you reading this now.
Even if you aren’t someone who responds to other folks – a kind lurker on the wall – I appreciate you for being here and for being part of this community.
To those of you who’ve posted and shared on the wall: Thank you for trusting me and the other folks of this community. Thank you for allowing us to be part of your journey.
To those of you who volunteer in SWAT and on the wall: You rock! Must I say more? (Yes, I must!) Each and every one of you helps to restore some of my faith in humankind and inspires me personally. You all show incredible kindness while staying true to and caring for yourselves. That means a lot to me. It also means a great deal to everyone on the wall. Whether you’ve responded to one post or 5,000 (looking at you, Micro), you have seriously helped someone out, and that means a lot.
And a final shoutout to the mods, SWAT Leads, and those who’ve supported me over the last while. I’m not going to make an exhaustive list for fear of leaving someone out (so know that these thanks go out to so many more people than I’m listing here), but I want to give a particular shoutout to Micro, Neko, and Twix. You have all been beyond wonderful to SWAT with, and to be around. Thank you.
Update from Previous Posts
tl;dr I left an organization that I had been volunteering for after an interpersonal incident that I previously posted about. The transition went well and I’m happy with the current state of the organization.
Click for Full Text (TW: Brief SH Mentions)
Just over a year ago, I posted about an interpersonal incident with a coworker that I volunteered with. As mentioned in my last post on that topic, I ended up leaving the organization at the end of the year (Dec 31, 2022). The transition was as seamless as they get and went well.
I’ve considered returning to the organization in the future, but I’m also appreciating the chance to rest and put that time into other endeavors. The organization also seems to be doing well under its new leadership and it feels amazing to see that it’s still flourishing and stable. For a while, I felt bad for not successfully getting it to the state that my successor brought it into, but after some time, I realized that I should be proud of what I did – not any missed opportunities. I took a sinking ship and (mostly) got it back on course – and getting it back on course involved turbulent waters and required us to cut some of our services. Sure, I didn’t erect a new sail, but I (along with our many other wonderful volunteers) kept the organization from going under and it’s okay for that to be enough.
In another post (TW: SH, Suicidal Ideation), I mentioned considering therapy. I’m proud of myself for posting this, and for the actions, I took after posting it (talking to my GP and school counselor). While I ended up only talking to the school counselor once, having the courage to do so made me feel like I could – it told me that I was capable of being supported when I need it – and that realization was massive for me.
(Oh yeah, and I’m also a couple months clean of self-harm, though self-harm never has been a particularly significant challenge for me)
Life Update
tl;dr I’m going to college next year!
Click for Full Text
I’m graduating high school this year and will be going to college. The college application process stunk (~40 pages of notes and essays!) and was frankly full of disappointment. But it’s done now. While I can’t claim I’m 100% thrilled, I’m happy with where I’m going and I’m grateful that I have the opportunity to attend college.
More than anything though, I’m just happy to be done with the application process. 
Thank you for reading this monster of a post! I appreciate you.
