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PTSD Hopeless

I feel like such an outlier. Last year I had severe Covid and was hospitalized for a week where I was treated quite poorly. I went nuts on a steroid and was not allowed to see any of my family and I was truly terrified the entire time I was there. Shortly afterwards, my father gets severely ill with Covid and I came home to him laying on the floor in a puddle of blood because he fell and hit his head. He was in the hospital for a week and I thought he was going to die. Shortly after this, my grandma dies from Covid. On top of this, I had a cascade of other health issues and tests I needed to have done. Now, a year later, all of a sudden, I’m having panic attacks and can’t sleep and have like no appetite. I keep going to doctors and hospitals to make sure I’m okay and they just keep brushing it off as anxiety or nothing and prescribed me Zoloft. I’m 3 days in and my anxiety feels amplified. I’m afraid of my Girlfriend getting fed up and leaving me because I cry multiple times a day. This is horrible. If anyone can input anything so I don’t feel so alone, I’d greatly appreciate it. Thank you

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Hi Kevin2011

Welcome to the forum.

I’m so sorry for your loss and the trauma you’ve had to endure. I can see why you’ve got anxiety issues, but I’m happy to hear you’re starting meds. They do take a couple weeks to start working, so give yourself some time. You are not alone, I suffer from anxiety too and there are some things you can do to help ease it.

Breathing. We forget to breathe and that actually makes it worse. Try taking slow breaths… 7 seconds in and 11 seconds out. Pay attention to your breathing and focus on where you feel it in your body. This will help you be in the moment where you are safe. It helps me so I hope it does for you too.

If you’re on Zoloft I’m assuming you are in therapy. Talk therapy would really help you work things out and you’ll gain coping skills to help you deal with things.

You can also look at youtube for videos on how to cope with anxiety. There are guided mindfulness meditations and different ideas out there that might work for you.

I hope this helped and I’m glad you’re here.

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend, Thank you for posting. I am so sorry for everything that you have been through. Last year sounds like a long living nightmare for you, firstly with your own covid, your Dad and then losing your grandmother, I cant even imagine what you have been feeling, it is no wonder that you are struggling still. I am so pleased that you have decided to look for help. I encourge you to seek some therapy for ptsd and grief councelling. Please keep up with your meds for a bit longer and give them a chance to see if they work, they take time to take effect. If you dont see any effect in a few weeks please go back and see your doctor so he can give you something else, they dont always find the right ones first time. With the help of therapy, meds and your gf, I think you will find your way through this but its going to take time and work, we are here to support you through that. Good luck friend. Much Love Lisalovesfeathers. x

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From: Rohini_868

Hi there,

That’s quite a lot of scary incidents one after the other, and I’m so sorry for your loss of your grandmother and it must have been so scary to see your dad like that. I want you to know that you’re not an outlier. You went through some difficult moments, and I’m hoping that you are working with a therapist. Talk to your doctor, have them let you know the range of time it takes for the meds to kick in, and what you can expect.

You were through some scary times, and I’m sorry that you had to go through that. Hope that your dad is doing better now. Keep us updated, would love to support you through this, and i hope that you know that we value and appreciate you, and you matter!

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Hello Kevin,

I want to take a moment to welcome you to the HeartSupport community. It is no small feat to post on here & ask for encouragement in this rough time that you have been dealing with lately.

One thing I would suggest for you is to have some daily check-ins with your girlfriend. Maybe at the start & end of the day, have some easy questions to go over with each other & create a stronger connection. After reading your post, if she has been with you through all of the valleys you have been experiencing…I feel like she will be there at this moment. Even maybe you can include her with some of your worries & concerns with all of the doctor things.

I believe that you will overcome this & be stronger for it. You are valid. You are important. You are enough. You matter.

-StarFox :yellow_heart:

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From: twixremix

hi kevin,

welcome to the forum, my friend. thank you for your vulnerability on how your mental health is doing, allowing your new heartsupport community in on this time in your life. what you’ve gone through with covid, the things you’ve felt, experienced, and endured is incredibly hard for anyone to go through. i wish i could give you a hug right now after reading your post so please feel all the virtual comfort and love i am sending your way right now.

even though the panic attacks, lack of sleep and appetite, and anxiety seems sudden, i feel like a lot of what you’ve gone through is finally hitting you. the PTSD from seeing your family fall severely (and even fatally) ill and even finding your own dad on the floor in his own blood is understandable and i truly hope you can find the answers, treatments, and guidance you need to decrease the panic and anxiety flooding your senses. rosie (mystrose) has incredible advice above on coping with severe anxiety, i also use the same breathing techniques during my panic attacks, which are commonly PTS-related.

all that to say is that i wish you all the best in your journey to find peace and comfort in this wild life we all find ourselves in. you have a community here that loves and supports you so, if you need someone to vent to or receive advice from others who may have gone through similar experiences, please know that this HS forum has your back!

love,
twix

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Hey Kevin2011,

I am so sorry that you and your family are going through all of this right now. That is a LOT for anyone to be going through. This isn’t something that you deserve to be going through, friend. My best wishes and prayers on you and all of your family recovering back to full health.

I am glad to hear that you’re working with a doctor to try to get a handle on what’s going on. As with most other anxiety medications, it takes weeks for the medication to fully take effect, and you can experience worse mood swings while you’re starting it up. Hopefully your anxiety starts coming down as the medication does it’s thing. As always, call your doc if something feels too wrong. If you have a therapist as well, I strongly advise you contact them asap as well.

As for dealing with the anxiety in the moment, I think @Mystrose nails it, and I’d be hard pressed to give better thoughts than what she has to offer. Breath, friend. You got his.

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From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello, Kevin2011 and welcome to HeartSupport! I’m sorry that Covid hit you and your family so hard. I can understand how that has affected your mental and physical health. And I’m so sorry about your grandma :hrtlegolove:

I would like to echo what Mystrose said about therapy being a big help to talk through your panic attacks and anxieties. So many people are in therapy because of Covid it is actually a question on the online therapy site Betterhelp when you sign up for therapy about whether you feel your mental health has been affected by Covid. If you want to look into betterhelp this is a link for a free week betterhelp.com/heartsupport

Have you talked to your girlfriend about what is going on? Maybe she wants to be there for you but isn’t sure how to support you when you are having an attack and crying. I know that so often just with friends I will sit there uncomfortable and impotent if someone is showing a strong emotion simply because I want to help and don’t know how. I hope that you are able to talk to her and she shows you how much she cares and she supports you through this turbulent time.

You are doing amazing and I hope you continue coming here to share your journey with us. You matter :hrtlegolove:

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