Hey there, I’ve become more of a lurker due to what was an increase in work. I got into it with a coworker, had a panic attack and walked out so I got fired via email. I say that to say I’m gonna try to be around to support people more. Anyways, the point of the post is this, recently I experimented with a guy, and enjoyed it. Idk if it was the fact that I hadn’t even been kissed in 3+ years or if I really enjoyed it, and I want to try it again. Here’s the problem, I have a girl I’ve been talking to a girl who’s my best friend for over a year and we both like each other and I’ve told her I would wait til she’s ready for a relationship and it doesn’t matter if it’s 6 months or 3 years from now. I don’t want her to think I’m just doing whatever while she isn’t because she doesn’t feel like it. She has won my heart and makes me feel safe and secure when I’m around her to tell her everything including stuff about my mental health.
First off, I’m so sorry to hear about your being fired via email, that sucks. I do hope that in this new found time, you are able to not only be there for others, but also allow those in your life to be there for you without the weight of whatever was going on at work. Panic attacks suck too and I do hope things get better for you. Maybe its better to be away from that coworker.
As far as the other situation, I want to be careful here as this is difficult. As someone who has been in a similar situation on a receiving end, being honest about how you’re feeling and what is going on will help you to figure out what you want. It sounds like you don’t want to hurt this girl, but truth will come out. Don’t keep it from her, let her in. But also, be kind. Don’t string along both your hearts while you figure things out. For what its worth, I do hope things work out for you both and you each get what you need from a relationship, be that together or with someone else, however things go. You know your heart and what you need. I wish you all the best.
I’ve told her about wanting to experiment and going both ways and she’s been completely cool with the whole thing. When I talked to her last about it, she had no problems with me doing it one time. It’s just the second that becomes tricky. I thank you for your words about work and that situation, as well as your insight into my other situation.