Random desire to disappear

I don’t know why but I just have such a strong desire to disappear, to be gone.

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I hope that when you do find out why, it will lead to an even stronger desire to stay.

Well I think it might stem from a desire to not have to worry about anything anymore.

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If you want, it might help to write down what worries you so much that you would like to disappear.

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I guess it can’t hurt to try.

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If I didn’t have anything to be worried about, I’d be worried. :upside_down_face:

But seriously, leapyeargirl has a good idea. If you create a worry list, you can sort it out between the things that you can control and the things you can’t. Additionally, you can decide if the worry itself is a bigger problem than the things that are worried about.

It really does take time and practice to figure out what’s worth worrying about and what isn’t. There will always be things to worry about, but you don’t have to worry about any or all of them all the time. There is a great deal of literature available that talks about managing worry. It’s also very much talked about in therapy sessions.

One way that I manage my worry is to consider the worst case scenario, then formulate contingency plans.

So, are you okay with not disappearing if instead, the worry disappears, at least for periods of time?

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I don’t know I would rather just not have to worry about anything.

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I’ve been thinking I also feel like I want to disappear because nothing I do seems to matter much at all, as well as not having any sort of purpose and I know I’m supposed to find that for myself but I can’t seem to find any sort purpose or reason for this life.

Yea, the question of finding some sense of purpose can be really tricky and overwhelming once we dive into it. When I was very depressed and felt like my whole personal world was collapsing (loss of job, chronic health issues, drowning mental health speaking…), I was really obsessed with those questions. But the more I would keep asking myself those questions, the more I was trying to find THE thing that would make sense for me and resonate inside, the more I felt completely empty and lost.

To be honest, something that helped me a lot over time was to stop thinking about those questions - to push them aside and to jump into action. Any kind of action honestly. Any kind of change or thing I could try out or implement in my life. It sounds that you’ve been yourself stuck with those questions for a little while now as you’ve been mentioning it in several posts. My encouragement for you really would be to start trying out things you want to try without necessarily thinking at first the pros and cons. If there are activities you like, dreams you’ve always wanted to try, things you ant to learn… anything new that can add new experiences into your life, then it might be time to jump on the train and give it a try. Because as much as thinking about what would fulfill us is important, it can also make us end up stuck in our own thoughts. It give smore room to worry, to let our fears speak for us, to find multiple reasons to just not try anything in the end. While ultimately, it’s okay if you try something then realize it’s just not your thing. You’d still be learning about yourself. You’d still be experimenting and living your life.

Sometimes there isn’t a big answer to the big questions such as our purpose in life. Sometimes the answers you’ll find will be in the smallest things ever, that we can tend to overlook when we look too hard at the big picture. You may find purpose in the smile of someone you love, of a hug you give, of a meaningful conversation, of a passion you share with others, of a personal goal that you’d reach. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t revolutionize the world, but it makes a difference in yours, which ultimately is what matters the most when it comes to living your life. You deserve to live it fully, to try, fail maybe but at least to feel a sense of pride from trying. Therre is no small goal, no things you would love that would ever be too small either, no dream too impossible. It’s all made of small steps after all.

You got this, friend. :hrtlegolove:

Hi there, @lonelyfreak

I hear you, and it’s okay when things get on top of you from time to time.

Sometimes, that feeling of wanting to disappear can be a response to intense emotions or challenges. Remember, you’re not alone in this. There are people who care about you and want to support you through whatever you’re going through. It’s important to reach out and talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling.

You deserve to be heard and supported, and there are ways to work through these feelings together. Whether it’s seeking professional help, talking to a friend, or engaging in activities that bring you joy and comfort, know that there are options available to help you navigate through this.

You are valued, and your presence makes a difference in the world. Take one step at a time, and know that brighter days are ahead.