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Rant & recent thoughts

I’ve been feeling I guess fine you can say the past few months distracting myself from the loneliness I feel with tv shows and all that but I feel even more alone in this world with this quarantine thing, everyone seems to be talking to eachother having nice and fun drawing doodle games on their Instagram stories or other things in general. I’ve felt as if I don’t have friends or that people care for me at all, I mean I matter to right? I mean the past few weeks I’ve been sick and since I have asthma I’m even more at risk for getting the corona virus so I can’t find a job to be away from home, and since we can’t go out there’s no where to go to get my mind out of this mindset for even a while. During the day I’m fine but at night it starts to get hard to even want to be talkative with people. If I don’t talk in a groupchat people don’t seem to well care if something’s wrong bad or anything, I in general since last year have have well trust issues to even hard time even calling people friends I’ve felt like this is all a fake reality and somehow I keep waking up in it like a nightmare and since I honestly don’t consider anyone my “friend” anymore there really no one I can really talk to this about, how I feel inside is like I’m an empty corpse, and the problems at home aren’t of. Any help at all because it all seems to be affecting my dreams aswell, I’m only here bc someone I know sent me the link for this and I know no one will maybe care or answer if I said all this on Instagram or any other messaging app

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@Robinglxy

Hello. Nice to meet you. Welcome to the HeartSupport community. It means a lot. During this season of being in the quarantine and the Coronavirus panic, it can be stressful. Especially when we got to be in our houses for safety. It’s okay to feel lonely. Everyone here has gone through it. It’s hard to call someone a friend because we don’t know if they do really care. There will always be friends who will be on your side. Regardless of any situation you are in. I encourage you to join HS Twitch stream and Discord group to hangout. There, you will be loved. I hope you are staying safe. Thank you for sharing. Goodnight.

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Will do thanks for that

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Welcome friend and thank you for posting. You are among friends here. We all struggle with a some of the things you are describing - and all seem to be cycling in and out of a good place or bad place or just the contented in-between place.

You are right - hiding from loneliness by distracting yourself really doesn’t work. I know I’ve turned to tv for that problem. And alcohol. And drugs. All not good and none of those things work. I’m still working through figuring out what works for me. I had been exercising a lot to get myself out of my head, but then they shut down the gym.

You say you feel like an empty corpse. Is there anything that lifts you? I listen to music like it’s oxygen. Do you enjoy being outdoors? Would you consider brainstorming somethings that you think might help you light a spark inside?

Also want to say - I think we all go through seasons where we are abandoned by friends and loved ones. It’s brutal and so shitty, but you can get through this. Please post here, know people here care, know we understand the hideous loneliness.

Lots of love. Hold fast.

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