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Ready to kill myself

As I sit here and write this all I can think about is how me ready to kill myself will affect everyone around me but I really don’t care. I’m going through one of the worst times in my life my husband don’t talk to me it’s been over a week and we have a newborn baby girl on top of that he is talking to so many different people on different website it’s crazy. I left my apartment to move in with a friend only to feel even more down because she’s about to get married in a few days and I’m probably a little jealous because I just want to be happy with my husband the same way I see her happy. All I think about all day and all night is killing myself and I don’t know what to do about it. Being adopted at the age of 7 giving up at the age of 2 not knowing my family and losing my brother 3 years after I found them is super hard and now I have to worry about if my husband is cheating on me since we’re separated but not legally separated. My mind is everywhere Bellini friends someone to talk to I have no one my husband was my best friend he still is but I can’t talk to him. Think I’m going to kill myself tonight

I’m sorry that you’re going through this. But you are not alone. Please, keep going. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Don’t give up, please. I want to share a video with you. I hope it will help you https://youtu.be/L33djEEMEE8

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Your life is priceless and believe it or not things will get better! Think about your baby girl who at the age of two might not be able to express herself but she lovessss you sooo much. Also, your friend and others in the world care for you even if you cant feel it ! Most importantly God loves you everyday your given breath because you have a purpose. I just want you to know that if you are willing to you can always turn to Jesus who loves you dearly and can help you through every problem if you let him in, he has for me. John 3:16 " For God so loved the world that he sent his one and only son that whoever shall believe in him shall not perish but have eternal life"

Please respond I just want to check up on you

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I too, would like to hear you respond to this thread @Carten0314. We’re here to talk or listen to you. There’s always a better way.

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Dear @Carten0314,

We need you in this world. Your little girl too. I’m sorry to hear about how things are going with your husband these days. There are difficult seasons in every relationship but I sincerely hope that you’ll manage to go through this as smooth as possible.

As you mentioned your childhood and the loss of your brother, I assume that maybe you feel like your entire life is only about abandon and losses. But those are different relationships, different events in your life that are not related to each other. There is nothing wrong with you. And I promise you that you’re not alone.

I’m sorry you’ve been abandoned at such a young age. And I am sorry you lost your brother. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you, especially regarding your family story. I lost my brother too and I know losing a sibling is difficult to describe. But he’s still with you, he’s still living through the person you are, because he’s been part of your life, no matter for how long.

I hope that, somehow, you found peace and love in the family you grew up with. We don’t choose our parents, our family. But we still have the possibility to create our own family and to find love somewhere else. You have one with your baby girl. And because you know what you’ve been through, there is no doubt you’re gonna do your best to be a good mom to her. :heart:

But you also need to be supported on this journey. There are wounds to be healed, losses to grieve. It’s not nothing. But suicide is not a solution. What you’re dealing with are circumstances you actually can go through. What you experienced before, also the fact your husband may be cheating on you, doesn’t say anything about who you are and how much love you deserve to receive. It’s about others behaviors and events that were beyond your control. You deserve to be respected in your relationship and see how important you are just by being you. You matter, friend. We love you here, no matter what. And we’d like to support you on this journey, as much as we can.

Please, let us know how you’re doing.
Hold fast.

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Hi everyone i have been doing alot of thinking and taking it one day at a time. I appreciate all your kind words to me. Its very much needed.
Im still down but im not out. Today i will be reading my bible talking to God about the feeling of defeat i have been feeling lately.
My children give me the push i need to try to keep going. Its hard but i guess this is the cards i was delt in this life time…
I thank you all so much

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Find a way to get out and find a fresh start. Seek help from your friends.

I am so glad to hear back from you!! Im glad you are having talks with God! Might be hard but to see it now, but God can bring you out of this hard time, Just praise him in advance! Also, I agree just take it one day at a time doing. All you can do is your best each and everyday!