Reality bites

My mind is mad crazy. It’s electric, like full of confusion and angst and sadness.
I think I could improve myself x10, but 10x0 is still 0.
I will get help bc I owe it to this family and I owe it to you guys too for being so kind and all.
I want to be worth something.
If I can’t it’ll be a dead end.
I haven’t harmed myself for nearly a week.

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Hi friend,
thank you for reaching out and coming back to us.
you haven’t harmed yourself for one week. stick to that, that is great !
you are worth something my friend. you have people that support you. you also have us.
you deserve that. all the good things.

Welcome to the club. mine is cycling around with mad stuff lately.

can relate a lot lately. overwhelmed with everything right now.
you are willing to do something, you are reaching out with all.
what are your toughts lately ?
what is going on in your life that makes you feel that way ?
want to open up a bit. you are welcomed here anytime. you are loved and you matter most.
stay strong and do little steps, enjoy things that you love, with people you love.
Feel hugged. :purple_heart:

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From: ManekiNeko

hey echo.repeat, you’ve had such an incredible journey so far. One that no one should have to experience and one that you could never be responsible for. You mentioned in your last post that this was something you couldn’t do alone anymore, can I ask if you’ve been speaking or sharing with someone professional about this?
You are so so so worthy. You are worthy of love and of life.

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The math doesn’t work. To be 0, you wouldn’t consider improving.

Maybe you don’t need to improve yourself x 10. Besides quantifying inner improvement is impossible. That’s especially true if you’re in the habit of being hard on yourself.

Be grateful for the help and support you’ve received, but it wasn’t given to create a sense of obligation in you. The better side of any person who’s helped you doesn’t want you to owe them. Instead they want you to recognize and take advantage of the good within you.

In the few lines you’ve posted, I’ve observed;

  1. You have improved already, by not harming yourself.

  2. You have a sense of gratitude, appreciating supportive others.

  3. You remain driven to improve.

  4. You’re depressed and anxious, and it looks as though anxiety is triggering the depression.

Priority # 1: Calm yourself. Try a variety of approaches, from becoming physically tired enough to sleep well, relaxation techniques and/or mediation, calming music, writing your thoughts down in order to get them organized, or something else.

If that doesn’t or hasn’t worked, get therapy, or combine the therapy with something listed above.

When’s the last time you’ve done something just because you felt like it, or it was just plain fun?

There’s a lot of reality going around. Not all of it bites.

Just fighting with my place in life and my worth. Fighting with trying not to be sad and wanting to give up. I want to, but I know it’s not right.

Not yet, I’m working up the courage to do so. It’s like I don’t really want to try, but I feel like I should and hopefully it’ll get better

I don’t know if I’m being hard on myself. Sometimes I feel like I’m not being hard enough because I shouldn’t feel like I want to give up on life.

Thank you for those ideas, they sound really helpful. I’ll give them a try.
Last time I did something that was just fun/because I felt like it was maybe a few months ago. There was one day I thought about trying to drown myself, but I walked into the water and decided to sit in it and watch everything. I know that doesn’t sound fun, but it felt nice for that moment.

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That’s being too hard on yourself. It’s better to understand why you’re feeling that way instead of judging those feelings as something you “shouldn’t feel.”

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