hi i don’t really know where to start this, before quarantine and the stay at home order my life was looking up, the self harm thoughts were subsiding and where i worked was so fun and school was going well!
but now that i am at home all the time my motivation level has gone down to zero i can’t remember the time when i felt this bad about my self, binge eating and then days when i hate my body and stop eating. my mom has tried her best with understanding what’s going on in my head but she doesn’t even know the half of it. the emails from my teachers telling her that i’m not participating is just adding on. i normally could get over the feeling of self harm by distractions but i don’t have any of them anymore. i celebrated a year clean a few months ago and i really just wish i knew how to turn off the voices in my head. like it’s been hard but i know i can make it through this but gosh it’s really hard thanks for anyone who reads this, it means a lot more than you know
I am having similar problems because it’s like now that i am in quarantine i am thinking more about every flaw and every thing that i had recently had taken my mind off of because i had things to do. And yes it is gonna be hard and i dont know you but i know your strong and your still here so dont think about all the things you hate even though it might be hard but there is always something good about yourself you will be able to find and you need to focus on that
Hey @Hillsdale2,
This is a late reply, but I wanted to add some encouragement to the convo and remind you today that you are loved and cared for. 
Quarantine sucks. Really. It’s been affecting many of us, certainly more than we imagined at first. It’s not that easy to stay at home, at the same place everyday, to be physically separated from the people we were used to see regularly, also to adjust to new habits. Personally, I’m not in school anymore, but I know it’s been a struggle for many to switch for distant schooling and you can feel more pressure with all the due dates, the things to learn. I’m sorry you have to deal with all of this. But also, know that it’s okay to feel how you feel. Indeed, you will make it through! And you’ll be able to keep taking care of yourself, despite the circumstances.
There are days when I feel pretty low too. And some very old urges to self-harm has been back. It’s frustrating… but also, I think it’s very natural to feel that way. We have more time to think, to reflect on ourselves, on our life… and we can be tempted to see everything as being difficult and negative. So, it’s okay to give yourself the grace you need to go through this. The circumstances are a little bit particular, but it’s only a season and it will be better sooner or later.
In the meantime, you certainly can try a lot of things to take care of yourself. You said you don’t have any distractions, but I want to believe that it’s just a matter of time before you find them. Do you go outside a little bit everyday to breathe some fresh air? Do you have any hobbies that helps to feel relaxed and just… focus on something you enjoy? Do you think you could try to exercise regularly (even just light exercising), so you can release some energy? What about meditating a little? (if you like video games, I personally find Playne on Steam to be very helpful to create a meditation routine).
I’ll leave some resources here, available on the HeartSupport Website and here on the Support Wall. Also an exercise that maybe could help you to identify how to take a step further and to take care of yourself. Hope it can help a little!
https://forum.heartsupport.com/t/when-it-feels-like-you-should-do-anything-to-ease-the-pain-just-for-a-second/14630
https://forum.heartsupport.com/t/about-the-lifestyle-category/13993
You’ll be okay. You got this. Rooting for you. 
thank you so much it helps to know that there are other people out there you positive words help so much 
thank you so much, the resources you linked are honestly a safe place for me to know that there is a good chance for me to be okay after this thank you for your support it means so much to me 
Hi @Hillsdale2 - I know you have gotten some amazing support here, I am so glad to see that. I just want to tell you that struggling right now is absolutely okay, and I hope you have grace, understanding, and forgiveness for yourself. I am so proud of you, congratulations on your month. You deserve a life free from self harm, and you are worth all the effort and encouragement. Struggles like that can sometimes never go away totally, and you are so strong to speak about them instead of acting on them. I am really inspired.
We are here for you on your journey. You matter, your experiences right now are really important. Thank you for coming here to post, hold fast.
Yes i agree with Echoe we are here any time to help and we aren’t just saying that if you wanna talk we can talk anytime
thank you so much it’s just been really really hard lately
thank you so much i have tried to talk to my family and i love them so much but they just don’t understand how scared i am rn of myself
I believe in you. At the start of this I was imagining how I would feel in your situation: 1yr. Clean still struggling with average life, then a pandemic, which would have me home around family 24/7 and learning technology to learn my school classes. I honestly don’t know if I could have done it. I think I would have struggled really badly.
You’ve made it this far, so you are still at a 100% success rate.
Hey @Hillsdale2, how have you been doing recently? I hope you find ways to take care of yourself in the midst of those crazy times that we’re going through. Sending love. 