Regretting an abortion

I am a teen, 18, just finished school. Recently i found that i was 6 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend and i decided it was for the best that we terminated it. We found a doctor, and i got a medical abortion at home. And now, i regret it. I know somewhere we weren’t prepared, neither emotionally nor financially, for a baby
Especially considering that teenage pregnancy and sex outside marriage is quite a taboo in my very traditional family and i know how much my mom would not have accepted it. No one at home knows about anything, only my boyfriend’s parents know and they supported me through out this. But i cant help but think that we would have managed we would have been able to take care of this baby. I feel so attached and i cry and cry and it never stops to hurt. I feel like im exagerrating how i feel and i feel miserable, i feel like i lost something and my boyfriend seem indifferent to this. He doesnt seem as affected as i am or he pretends not to be affected. I regret being a coward, not being brave enough to face my family and keep my baby


Oh friend, @Shi,

You are not a coward, and you are certainly not exaggerating how you feel. The decisions that you had to make were extremely difficult, ones that can bring a lot of very mixed emotions, thoughts, feelings. You are experiencing a loss, both emotional and physical. It completely makes sense to have a hard time with it, to feel lost and to doubt the decisions made.

I want you to know that you are not alone right now. I’ve been where you are, for other reasons I had to make the same decision in my life. It’s something that takes time to be processed and you are not at fault at all for needing time, for needing to understand how you feel about it. You are not expected to simply “get over it” – that would be absolutely unfair and inhuman. You are allowed to feel, to express your needs and to take all the time you need. What happened is a significant part of your life and you are trying to figure out how you can give space and attention to it.

You have been so very brave through it all, even if it doesn’t feel like this right now. You are brave for being here today, for opening up and being vulnerable. Please know that we want to support you here, and you won’t need to wear any mask or hide any of what you feel. We’re here with you, holding your hand. It’s okay to let the tears be.

Regarding your boyfriend, do you feel like this is something you could share with him? Would he be receptive at all, or would that be a little bit too early? You are in this together, and he may not know right now how to express things either. Men are often expected socially to hide their feelings, but in the safety of a loving relationship, it may be possible to be more open to each other regarding how you’ve been processing all of this.

I’m sending plenty of hugs your way. :hrtlegolove:


Hi Shi, welcome to Heart Support

I know right now your emotions are all over the place and you are confused. It’s very normal to have these types of emotions after having an abortion.

This site is very good at explaining the emotional process woman go thru after having an abortion and I think it will really help you.

You are not a coward and you are brave. :hrtlegolove: