Rejected like always

I just got rejected from a selective summer program that I spent a lot of time applying for. I feel sick. People thought my essays were bad, unoriginal etc and now they’re all right and I look like a fool. I’m always rejected. Never have I been good enough for a person, a program, anything that I want. I’m always the wrong kind of person. I have nothing to look forward to anymore. Nothing to do this summer at all. No friends to be with, I don’t have friends, no one really wants me around anyway. And it’s not like I can tell anyone else about this. They’ll shame me for being sad that I was rejected, point out how weak and bad and imperfect and badly adjusted I am for not being able to take every rejection without breaking down. I just want to be accepted by someone, to something. Just to have one bit of proof that I’m good enough for something. To be good enough for something that I really want. But it’s not meant to be. I work so hard on my art but no one noticed or cares, I try so hard in school but probably won’t even get into college because I’m not the perfect student who wins national contests and is the president of a club. I wish I was the kind of person that was good enough, that got things, that was chosen, but I’ve never been. I used to think I needed to be perfect in every thing I did to be noticed and loved and to count. Now I realize that no matter how hard I try I will never be good enough. Not even to have friends or a boyfriend.
I hate myself for thinking I could ever be enough. For thinking that good grades and spending 40 hours of every week at color guard and exhausting myself was enough. But the problem is me. The problem is that I’m not the kind of person that deserves any attention or acceptance. There are certain people that aren’t meant to be satisfied in life, to achieve, and I’m one of them. I should stop trying for good now. Stop doing anything because if there’s a chance I could be rejected, I definitely will, and because I am defective I will take it personally, and cry, like the little baby I am, and everyone gets to laugh and point and whisper about the little baby who doesn’t get her way. It’s okay. I don’t deserve empathy.

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Hi!
I know what it feel like that even when you try your best and things doesnt end well or like you wanted, but that will happen in ours lifes. But we can learn from that situations and become stronger. My advice would be that if you like to do something, dont stop trying and in the future you will get the results of your work.

And I know how difficult is to not to have friends but I think that you need to see your self worth and love yourself, because if you want to love one with all your heart, you need to love yourself first. It isnt easy, but isnt impossible and when you see your self worth, because you are worthy; you will see that people will start seeing your worth and will want to know you better.

If you want to talk, know that we are here❤
Take care :heart:

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If you’re just going to tell me to love myself then leave me alone. It’s not up for you to tell me what I feel, and “loving myself” isn’t magically going to make everything better.

Hey @krystal,

I hear your frustration. And @Maisnow here is only trying to be supportive. We’re grateful for you to reach out. But indeed, no one here has a magical wand to change all of our struggles instantly. Though, we can try our best to support each other and think about how to move on, all together. That’s why this community exists. Also why we’re all here right now. :hrtlegolove:

No one here is telling you how you feel. I think you explained your situation very well already and it’s totally understandable. Again, I hear your frustration, your disappointment. I imagine that you had strong expectations with this summer program… and I’m sorry it didn’t work the way you wanted.

When we’re disappointed, we can start to see ourselves as being a failure. We start to see our entire life through our disappointment, we think about all the opportunities that we missed, the dreams we didn’t reach, or even the people we lost. I get that. Seriously. I hear you. I see you. How you feel is real, valid, understandable.

But it doesn’t mean the conclusions that you have about yourself are true. Yes, you deserve empathy. Yes you deserve to feel and see that you are loved and cared for. Yes, your deserve your efforts to be rewarded. And I can assure you that you don’t have to be perfect for that. First because perfection is an illusion. Second because no one really likes perfection. It’s just the best way to sabotage ourselves and stop doing anything. Trust me, I’m used to aim perfection in a lot of areas and it just brought me to nowhere, repeatedly. Except to some very negative mindsets, filled by a lot of self-hatred. And that’s not what you deserve.

People around you aren’t perfect either. They have their own struggles, obstacles, pain. Each life, each path, is unique. And none of us is more valuable than an other person. But I’m not ignoring what you said. I understand your point.

The energy that you have right now, you don’t have to use it against yourself or others.
No, you shouldn’t stop trying. But you have the right to slow down, to rest and process what happened. It’s in fact a great thing to do so you can regain some peace.

The problem is not you. But there are some balance to find here. Also some grace to give to yourself. A process of learning/trying can be painful or enjoyable depending on how you perceive it. You didn’t get the result you wanted. But I have to ask: did you learn new things by preparing yourself for this summer program? In which areas did you progress since you started to work on that? What concrete steps did you take? Maybe you didn’t get the opportunity you wanted - yet - but I doubt that the process itself was pointless to you. As long as we’re trying, we’re always learning something. A new skill, a certain amount of self-awareness, how something works, things to do or not… anything. But something. The time you spent for that is not lost. It’s yours, entirely. You can be proud of yourself for that. And if you’re not, then for what it’s worth coming from a stranger: I’m proud of you. For your dedication and your determination. It means something. It’s not nothing. And it’s not invisible to us here.

Also, I want to react on something more precisely:

I work so hard on my art but no one noticed or cares,

If you’re interesting in sharing your art with the community, feel free to join us on Discord: https://discord.gg/QXTKuc There’s a “stuff-we-made” room, where you can share your personal creations. Personally, I’d be glad to see you there! There’s never any obligaton to share, no pressure. Just know that this is a possibility.

If you’re into art, maybe consider also saying hi during DanMakesHisMark streamings, who works for HeartSupport and happen to be an amazing artist. It’s a safe and amazing community there, especially if you like making art. You can check on his channel and schedules at twitch.tv/danmakeshismark

I’ll leave here a video from him that I hope will warms your heart, even just a little. :hrtlegolove:


Rooting for you right now. You’re not alone. And know that it’s okay to take your time.
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I get how you feel on that. I can’t be accepted into society either my best option for you is just to push through. I’ve given up on everything the only thing I can think of is. Life has to sick for some people so the pretty rich ones can be on top it just can’t be everyone the same. We gotta have social classes for the pretty skinny rich girl’s on top. And outcast like me on the bottom. If u wanna talk about it just hmu

Hi Krystal,

rejection sucks - once let alone repeatedly - and the more it happens the more it eats away at our resolve.

If I understand correctly, you’re at a point where you feel as though you’ll never be accepted and hence you feel like you don’t belong, however, without meaning to seem arrogant or insulting, I don’t believe you can predict the future and I feel that you’re overlooking your ability and qualities because you’re understandably feeling completely dejected along with not receiving the love, care, attention and support that is essential for you to maintain hope and belief as one might.

Having said that though, I believe you have the resolve and resilience to bounce back from this and your value to this existence is just as much as that of anyone else who is a part of it, more so than others because you are experiencing things that cannot be taught and only endured.

The emotions you’re feeling are natural and certainly not to be ashamed of, and the fact you came to this site to share is great because even though we don’t know you personally, we do care about you very much as we care about each other and hence hope to build a stronger community each and every day because everyone deserves to be loved and respected and encouraged at the bare minimum.

Please feel free to reach out and share whatever you need or want to, and know that you’re an individual who is entitled to try as many times as it takes to find their personal fulfilment!

hope this helps, BIG HUGS!

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Hello,

I feel your pain on a very deep level. I vividly remember putting my heart and soul into one particular assignment during grad school. I did everything that I could and knew how at the time, but it was destroyed during grading. I most definitely internalized this failure and projected it to myself as a whole. I felt that it was time to throw in the towel and that I wasn’t meant to finish. I was scared to keep going through the motions due to the intense fear of failing again. But I had to keep going to realize that I was worthy of graduating. Worthy of succeeding.

You too are worthy of success. Not everybody has the will to spend as much time on their work as you do. That is a HUGE accomplishment in and of itself. These kinds of road bumps have a way of rattling your cage, for sure. But let’s try and frame this a little differently. Without failure in life, what can you really learn? By being rejected this time, where else can you apply to? Are there any places in your area where you could showcase your art? Do you have any ideas on future works that you could focus on?

Whenever I feel down about myself after being rejected, I look to better myself. Yes, your feelings are extremely normal. But what are some things that you could do today that can help you feel better? Do you have any other hobbies that can take your mind to a different place for a while?
You are clearly very strong because you reached out to this wonderful community. Many, many people would not be willing to share something like this.

You matter. You are loved. We are here for you. HOLD FAST.

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