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Relapse and feeling helpless

I posted recently about how I am a recovering porn addict and how after several years of not using porn I relapsed during quarantine. I really wanted to think that I was just one bump in the road and that I was going to be ok but no.

I have been using porn really frequently the past few weeks and it has gotten to point that I think I kinda gave up. It hasn’t even been bothering me that I fell back into this. That indifference is what scares me right now. Like I’ve given up on bettering myself. It feels impossible to meet people right now and feel close to anyone and it’s almost like I have just traded that with porn.

Last time I gave up porn I did it by making it impossible for me to get it. I gave up my laptop and put a child lock on my phone. I wanted to look at porn every day but I couldn’t. This time it feels like o can’t cut myself off from it because I need a computer and the internet to work and have some connection to the world at all. How do I separate the mentally harmful parts from what I need???

If anyone has anything they could suggest I need to hear it. Also if you are just praying people could you please remember my when you pray for a while? I’m really struggling and at a loss for what to do.

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Hi @1993 thank you so much for posting. I am so glad you are here.

Addiction to porn is a really misunderstood issue and I applaud you for coming here to share your story about your struggle. This addiction can seriously interrupt your daily life, and can effect your relationships with others and your view of yourself.

A video that REALLY helped me understand this addiction, as well as learn that there are really brave people out there talking about it and supporting each other is by Healthy Gamer GG:

It is a long interview, but it really shed light on the struggles, the coping mechanisms, and the support structure out there on the internet for folks who feel the way you do.

You are not alone, you don’t have to struggle alone, and you are most welcome here without judgement. Please let me know what you think, and I look forward to hearing how you are doing and learning more about your story. Thank you for being here :hrtlegolove:

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