I posted recently about how I am a recovering porn addict and how after several years of not using porn I relapsed during quarantine. I really wanted to think that I was just one bump in the road and that I was going to be ok but no.
I have been using porn really frequently the past few weeks and it has gotten to point that I think I kinda gave up. It hasn’t even been bothering me that I fell back into this. That indifference is what scares me right now. Like I’ve given up on bettering myself. It feels impossible to meet people right now and feel close to anyone and it’s almost like I have just traded that with porn.
Last time I gave up porn I did it by making it impossible for me to get it. I gave up my laptop and put a child lock on my phone. I wanted to look at porn every day but I couldn’t. This time it feels like o can’t cut myself off from it because I need a computer and the internet to work and have some connection to the world at all. How do I separate the mentally harmful parts from what I need???
If anyone has anything they could suggest I need to hear it. Also if you are just praying people could you please remember my when you pray for a while? I’m really struggling and at a loss for what to do.
