I want home to visit family for thanksgiving it was going well then I want to the craft fair with my sisters/with the 2 kids and I was walking around having fun got to see some my old friends and i saw my abusive father I quickly want around the corner before he could see walk downstairs told my mom he was here and so i want outside and took a walk try to calm myself down mind to stay keep calm and not have a panic I knew i had stay calm because 2 kids was with us so after i want back and hang out with the kids but that really change my MOOD then day after I was packing to go home and had a break down was upset told my friend that i want kill myself she called the police on me but i was on the way home when I find out my sister text me saying I was “crying wolf” when didn’t even understand what going because they want her house then when i want back i staff worried about me and anyone asking if im ok and if i wanna talk that they there I found a razor in my room last cut my arm up my WHOLE arms is full of cuts because I cut still i feel the pain/numb go away

that’s…yeah, that’s awful. my mom has told me that i’ve done stuff just to try to get attention from people like saying that i wanted to die or kill myself but i was just in a really dark place. i’m sorry all this happened. sometimes things can just trigger certain emotions and i don’t really know how to help with this, i’m sorry. but i’m here for you. self harm only makes you feel better in the moment. there are lots of resources if you choose to use them. casey, one of the main heart support people is super amazing and there are lots of other people on here and where you are that love you and can support you through this. God’s got you. i’ll be praying for you.

Your father is a trigger and if your family cares for your wellbeing they need to keep the triggers away from you.
I’m not saying that he can’t visit them. I am saying they should keep your visits & his visits separate.
I’m sure what happened afterwards was a misunderstanding. I’m sure you recognized that your friends & family love you very much.
I’m sorry that you’re suffering so much. I hope you find a method to leviate it without harming yourself or attempting the desire to end it all.
You should find professional help to talk about these issues. I’m not saying your family & friends can’t help you “hash things” out. A therapist is trained to focus on you and put aside any personal baggage. Friends & family usually don’t.