On April 28,2020 I relapsed after being clean for one year since my relapse I have no enegry and feel like death I force myself go to work and fake a smile a few daysaago while at work i had mental break down/almost panic attack I had to run to the bathroom just to calm myself down because pressure at work and my mental health is soo much yesterday I relapsed again yesterday I can’t get myself to stop it feels so good it take the pain away only other way that i can deal with this is getting high i don’t have to feel anything I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE I JUST WANNNA DYE AND NOT FEEL PAIN ANYMORE
Thanks for sharing your struggles and expressing your true feelings. I’m sorry your having such a difficult time. I hate addiction, I’ve battled it for a long time. I know the feeling after you relapse and it takes you way way down. Sometimes you just get so tired of fighting, and you can’t always pick yourself back up on your own. You did it for a year though that’s huge! I believe you can do it again. That already shows how strong you are. It doesn’t make you a failure, it doesn’t make you a bad person, and it doesn’t make you weak. You CAN do this.