Hi , today was beautiful, until i start again with masturbation after a long break.I feel emptyness and apathy now and , sometimes i struggle to deal with low feelings.My hope is to ending with that circle
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Welcome to HeartSupport!
This is rather timely. I’m taking the next step in that journey myself. 4 days clean by an exhausting force of will, but starting a recovery program to face whatever demons I’m trying to silence.
You’re not alone here. The struggle with masturbation feels very lonely, but there are lots of us tired of drowning in it, looking for a way out. I wish you well on your journey.
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From: eloquentpetrichor
Welcome Jhon-mary to HeartSupport and thank you for sharing this with us. Addiction is a difficult thing to overcome but relapsing does not negate all of the progress you have made. Each day is new. It sounds like you need something to make you feel good. Have you tried finding a hobby that could occupy your time and help you out of your feelings of apathy? Hopefully that can help you. And if not then professional help is always an option for all kinds of addictions.
Feel free to post here anytime. And if you want some help with accountability about your addiction you may look into the Action Groups we have on our Discord server. It may be able to help you. Good luck and remember that tomorrow is always a new day 
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From: twixremix
hey jhon-mary,
welcome to the forum! and thank you for your vulnerability on how things are going for you. i’d love to share this stream from the heartsupport twitch: Twitch
nate does an awesome job at discussing addictions, how they make us feel, and how to start conceptualizing our way out of them. a lot of that hope to end the cycle is to gain professional support from counselors, therapists, addiction specialists. with their help, i know you will find your way out of this cycle of emptiness, apathy, and low feelings. those are hard emotions to endure, my friend, and i’m sorry you have to go through them. but relapsing is not a failure, it’s not a reason to give up on your journey and the ability to have more beautiful days ahead. you can get back up again, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward. sending you the best of luck and the strength to make the changes you want to see in your life. you can do this!
love,
twix
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Hey @Jhon-mary,
Thank you so much for sharing about your struggles here. This is certainly a topic that can make it difficult to open up, and I truly want to acknowledge your vulnerability here – you are seen and loved just as you are.
Addiction recovery of any kind is quite a challenging journey that can be made of plenty of ups and downs. Relapses are, somehow, part of it, as you learn not only to find other ways to cope with unpleasant emotions, but you also become more aware of them and how it affects you. There’s a lot of discomfort to walk through so I hope you will give yourself as much patience and kindness as possible after this relapse. Having a long break free from masturbation shows reveals already how much strength and resilience there is in your heart.
What were you feeling before this relapse? Did you notice any thought, emotion or physical sensation that could have contributed to this shift in your day? (Sometimes even nothing is something that can speak a lot regarding what we feel like we can cope with or not).
May you get some rest and meditate on this relapse in a way that will contribute to your healing journey, away from any potential guilt or shame. You’re keeping yourself accountable just by reaching out here already, and that is such a huge, huge step. I believe in you.
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Thanks you , yes i will improve my drawings and my english ( i’m not a native speaker)
Thanks you! I think when one of my best friend left ,i start feeling nervous and worried my attention was caught in a sarcastic video on YouTube , questioning about the expression of love without sex.
Thanks to all ,for your concern i will take your and others advice into considération ,have a nice day!
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