Relationship advice

Hi :confused:

I’m worried about my relationship and idk what to do. So tonight I realized my boyfriend of almost 2 years was planning on asking me to marry him and I’m not ready for that next step in my life because I’m still in college and he’s out of college. Mind you I’m almost 22 and he’s 24.

When I told him I’m not ready rn in this moment he thinks I’ll never be ready for him to ask me to marry him. After I told him he said it doesn’t matter anymore , not anything he had planned, to just forget about it and how he basically wasted his time on idk what :confused: the engagement plan or our relationship.

Im worried he’s going to break up with me because he’s really upset about it but he’s respecting my decision even tho he doesn’t like it. He’s a very loyal and loving person but he’s had this in his head and mind made up for a while that I’m the one for him. We have been dating for almost 2 years.

I feel like it’s all my fault he’s upset and that he’s no longer going through with whatever he had planned for me something in the near future. He even was talking about taking something back and trying to find a resit for something. I think he might have bought a ring for me and I feel as I ruined everything cuz I told him how I really felt and it’s just scary because we’re young and we’ve never been this serious till now Our relationship and the his plan is ruined cuz I told him the truth :disappointed::pensive:I’m scared he’s going to leave me and I don’t want that to happen cuz I love him and I want a long term relationship with him.


Hey Legacylex!

I know it can be hard, but i’m glad you were up front and said you werent ready yet. Marriage is a huge deal, and you want to do it when the time is right, and you did the right thing in being up front about your feelings about it. It’s a huge thing to do, and he may be upset about it, but deep down I feel like he knows that waiting is the best option for now. Relationships are all about trust and honesty and even if it’s not positive truth, it’s truth regardless. If he truly feels like he’s the one for you he will wait until you are ready.


Hallo Legacylex, I just want to say that I think you have handled yourself really well. You’ve communicated with him your needs and he took an unfortunate chance and got a bit hurt. I assume he must have felt embarrassed in the moment, and I hope that this is an opportunity for you both to communicate and for him to take some time to cool down.

Your boundaries and ideas are very valid and it’s not about you ruining anything. It’s okay to have different directions and ideas in life, and both people have to work together, not just allow one person to take the wheel and steer the relationship. You’ve already voiced and committed to wanting a long term relationship which in itself is a big and wonderful commitment.

I hope everything has a moment to calm and you’re both able to talk about this.
Sending you love

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Hello @Legacylex

Thank you for posting and being vulnerable. I’m sorry your boyfriend didn’t take your wants very well, but I feel like you made the right choice for you. You want to focus on school and graduate. Your boyfriend needs to consider your wants and needs and put them right up there with his and realize that all you want to do is wait. You’re not saying that you don’t want to marry him, you just want to wait. There isn’t anything wrong with that one bit.

You were honest with him and that’s very good, now he just needs to accept it and work thru his emotions and maybe change some plans. Maybe you can talk to him a little more and try to help him understand that marriage is about both of you and each person has to feel ready for it. If you love each other, you’ll wait.

Take care!

Hi Friend, Thank you for posting. Can I start by saying how proud I am of you for making such a mature decision and letting your partner know how you honestly feel even though you knew it would probably sting a bit. If that is how you really feel it is the very best decision you could have made whatever happens. It is going to hurt your partner for a little while as no one likes to hear no, you both clearly love oneanother and if so that will pass and things will get better I am sure, give it time and if its meant to be hopefully you will be married one day when you are both ready. I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world. Lisa x

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Hi friend thank you for sharing and posting.

You have not ruined the relationship by being forthright with your boyfriend and telling him where you are at currently. There is more time for you two to discover more about your relationship especially the really serious aspects before diving into marriage. When I was 22 marriage was the farthest thing from my mind. That being I was frat boy and partyer who was finally trying to get himself off the mat and finally graduate college myself.

No is a hard thing to hear especially for something as serious as this, but also he didn’t have a clear plan and that can be a road to nowhere sometimes. Proud of you for being wanting something serious while being true to who you are. Its is NOT your fault at all and you are worth it. Hold fast my friend and much love!