Relationships, friendships, and more making you feel lonely

I have that feeling of confusion, I don’t know if there is something wrong with me or it was only coincidence; but it seems that whenever I invite someone to spend time with me (considering their daily activities), they reject me, cancel me, and even ignore me.

At first I thought it only happened with people not so close, but then I even saw that my girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend) was not interested and it seemed that she did not even enjoy being with me.
Later, this was happening with people that I consider my friends, they ignored me and I even insisted a lot so that they would pay attention to me.

The saddest thing is to see that these people have time to go out with others, but they do not take you into account.

I’m starting to think that maybe I’m someone that nobody wants to be around.

I do not understand how other people have such close friendships, they have a partner and they manage to maintain those close and strong ties. I sincerely wish I could have that ability.

I hadn’t realized all of this until recently. Lately I have realized that despite having “ties”, “friends”, and even a partner, I got to feel very lonely and distressed.

A moment ago, I expressed to a very close friend how she made me feel, and she simply said “Stop it, shut up”, she got mad at me and then she told me it was all my fault.
I swear not to express myself in a bad way, it probably just frustrated me, but I did not say anything offensive or act incorrectly.

I probably consider these people close friends, but they do not see me with the same importance in their life.


I’m sorry that you’re going through this @RhodesVirtus, I can’t imagine how much this affects you. First, I just want you to know that you always have a place here, we’ll always be here to offer support and to listen.

I know how much this can hurt. One thing I’d suggest is asking these people why they don’t seem to take you and your feelings into account, communication is super important in relationships, even just in friendships.

Sometimes it feels like other people have close relationships come easy to them but honestly these things are always difficult for anyone. It can be hard to maintain these relationships, especially if you have something else outside of them that can make “normal” things hard. It’s 100% okay to find these things difficult, you’re not alone with that. It just takes learning and experience to feel comfortable with them, and that takes time but I believe that you can learn, get some experience and hopefully then they’ll seem less frustrating and difficult.

To me, and I could be wrong but this seems like there’s a greater problem with this other person and it has nothing to do with what you did. Sometimes when we tell people things and they act like that it’s because there’s something going on with them, and I’m not saying that’s an excuse to act like that but that’s what I have learned.

If you have people in your life that you consider close friends but they don’t see you the same way that’s absolutely something to talk to them about. It’s not fair for you to put time and effort into them but not receive it back, and they should know how that makes you feel.

I hope that you find some people around you that really value and appreciate you and you definitely have that in this community, friend.


Some people are naturally outgoing, and appear calm confident and upbeat. Others act that way, but don’t really feel that way. Then there are people like me, very quiet and introverted. Because I am quiet, some assume I am conceited. Others think that I’m dull. Yet a lot of people approach me out of curiosity, or in some cases, simply try to feel accepted by someone who has a high enough opinion of themselves, that such acceptance elevates their own self-esteem.

The above paragraph, as I read it, seems kind of complex and convoluted, but so is the nature of human interactions. The close and strong ties that you speak of may actually be quite fragile. The girl who told you to stop it and shut up, could very well be lonelier than you, even when she’s around others. I base that suspicion on her clear reluctance to engage with you on a meaningful level. She probably doesn’t do any better with anyone else.

As a young person, I figured out that when I tried to be likable, or sought the approval of others, it didn’t work out well. In fact, it seemed that my efforts caused them to take me for granted, and not value my time.

It’s not unusual for one friend to value the friendship more than the other, although both may assume that they value the friendship equally. That usually leads to the disappointment of one or both friends.

A lot of friends come and go, being in our lives for a few months, or a few years, then drift away. I have learned to let them go, and simply appreciate that they were in my life for a while. There have been quite a few people who have wanted to be around me for a while, but I’ve only had a handful of true friends in my entire life. I have learned that an authentic friend or two, is all that I really need. I think that’s how it works out for most people.

Try not to let pursuing the friendship of those who are drifting away, interfere with making new friends.

There’s a difference between aloneness and loneliness. Those who can comfortably be alone, make the best friends. That’s because when they spend time with others, it’s because they appreciate the company, rather than just “needing” a friend.

It occurs to me, that here, among relative strangers, there exists a deeper and more authentic sharing of friendship and love, than is often found elsewhere.

So, if you want someone who is willing to, at least for the present moment, with no self-serving agenda, deeply care about you, perhaps this is the place you should be.

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The HeartSupport Houston team responded to your post here, hold fast friend!



I honestly did not expect to receive a video, it is my first time in this community :heart:. I want to thank you very much for taking the time to read and respond to me; I listened well to each of the words they said, it has been a few days since then, and well, I am happy to say that I settled my argument with my friend and started to approach a person again and form a friendship with her. I still need to progress but I know that I must be persistent. Thank you all for giving me your attention, I really appreciate that you made me a video :heart:


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