I’m working through some stuff right now and kind of thinking out loud while I process things. I’m not a therapist but I have studied countless relationship and psychology books, as well as taking many classes on the subjects as I pursued my degrees. Maybe it helps you. Maybe you can help me think through some things. Thanks!
Relationships are constantly evolving as people evolve. You will face changing hobbies, opinions, friends, and likes/dislikes. Because of this, we have to adapt within the relationship if we want it to work. To make a relationship work, you have to adapt to those changes and that means you will be changing also.
The ability to listen empathetically is at the top of the list. That means listening (without defense or judgment) because you care about the person speaking. That care leads to compromise because you love the person, even if you disagree with them. Can you compromise on everything? Probably not. You will have untouchables such as your views on religion, politics, and even family. Those things make up who you are. However, I encourage you to approach all those things in a gentle way based on your person’s stance.
Relationships with parents are even more difficult because you are becoming an individual and parents often project onto their kids. They project their own beliefs, values, and visions for the future onto the kids. If you are lucky, you can enter into conversation with these people and reconcile differences. If not, you’ll just have to make the best of it until you get away. In my situations, all visits with my parents are very formal and superficial because we disagree on so many things.
I hope you call all find solutions to the problems you face.