I’m too scared to end my life yet I’ve written dozen of suicide notes. I come up with a plan then something makes me back down. With all these scars on my arms
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Please, do not hurt yourself. I’m so sorry you are in this much pain, you don’t deserve to feel this way. Please reach out to someone you trust, or read articles for motivation and encouragement. Each and every day, make one goal for yourself. No matter how small it is, just make a goal! Clean or rearrange your room the way you’ve been wanting to, pay extra attention in class, learn lyrics to a new album you like. Soon you will re-program your brain to distract yourself from the negative thoughts, and start subconsciously thinking of reasons to hold on one more day, one more week, one more month, etc. until one day you realize you are finally in a good place. Try this! You deserve to live and enjoy everything there is to enjoy out of life. Good luck, I care about you so much.
I’ve experienced suicidal ideation myself but felt way too scared about taking my own life. I also typed up a will when I was at my lowest and felt empty but have since deleted it. You’re NOT ALONE!