I think im ready to hit rock bottom. Tbh if i do? I could actually go forward. I feel i need to hit rock bottom to improve some people have more then 1 rock bottom. For me either a suicide attempt that lands me in the hospital is rock bottom. OR if i start cutting as my form of self harm. I think im ready for rock bottom so i can finally be ok. Cutting specificly.
it is so hard to be enough i know that…
you need to stay strong and keep your motivation high, cutting becomes addicting but trust me you will feel 100% better if you stop doing it. I’ve reached at some point, 11 weeks clean which were hard to do but, not impossible. You got this! If you need any help just reply to this. I am here to help !
I understand this so much. My brother battled with hard drugs for 5 years, then got clean and thrived. Meanwhile, I kept my head down, tried to do the right things, and was miserable. A part of me wished I had gone through his trials so that I could bounce back like he did, but I knew that thought was selfish, ignorant, and an insult to recovered addicts everywhere. I never hit rock bottom, I just continued free-falling with the occasional sideways glide.
I finally found the boost I was looking for in a local program similar to Celebrate Recovery, a step program for general issues. I didn’t have to bounce off the rocks to fly higher, I just had to grow wings. It was uncomfortable and even painful at times, and I didn’t dive all in like I should have, but I’m doing better now and feel like I am more than my failures.
All that to say you don’t need to put yourself in harm’s way before seeking help. It’s easier to say Yes to help when you hit rock bottom, and much harder when you haven’t, but if you’re sick of nothing working and willing to put yourself way out of your comfort zone to try something new, you can begin to recover without crashing.
I hope you take a step back and seek another option. I can’t help but want another outcome for you. I’m not sure what “rock bottom” means, except I have the impression that from this “bottom” the only perceived direction is up from there. One can go sideways, I know, I’ve got lots of practice with sideways.
Perhaps, you don’t need to ‘hit bottom’ before you start the journey back, perhaps reaching out now is a different option for you. One where you’ll find people with all manner of experiences to help you through this crisis. Many of us know the pain you’re in, have felt the same urges to fall into oblivion, but these are not solutions to the pain and hurt we feel. Only healing helps us through the darkness and gives us a sense of ourselves. Healing is an option, a much more self loving option than what you’ve suggested, one that you’ve initiated by being here, and it’s what I hope for you. Peace