My name is Leland and I struggle with severe anxiety and depression. I am having a hard time figuring out what went wrong in my life and I feel so far gone.
I’ve been struggling with cyclical anxiety that started years ago, but recently it’s been interfering with a girl that I love. I am dating someone who is way out of my league and the most incredible woman in the world, but I can feel myself slipping away and losing feelings not only for her but for everyone else in my life due to this anxiety. I am so incredibly mad at myself and just overall sad. I’ve been praying, and I’ve been taking medication, and going to counseling but it’s just been so incredibly hard.
I know all of this is completely random and it doesn’t have a lot of context, but if I’m being completely honest I just need some encouragement right now. I feel so alone in all of this and I don’t know why but I feel so guilty, anxious, depressed, angry, and somehow simultaneously numb.
Thank you all for your responses in advance. I really appreciate yall taking time out of your day to respond to all of this.
Hi Leland,
thank you for coming back to us, and thank you for sharing.
when it comes to heart, it gets everytime hard. and confusing. what makes you believe that she is out of
your league ? only your anxiety ?
there is a reason why she is dating you. there is a reason why your friends are loving you. there is a reason they
want to spend time with you.
because the way you are. because of who you are. because of you !
when you start having feelings towards someone, your interest is shifting that way. try not to go too quick, and also
take care of yourself, and the people around. don’t be mad at yourself. just take little steps. remind yourself of that.
enjoy this time ! it is hard, yes. it would be for everyone. and you are not alone.
few years ago, at my last dates i was feeling the same. she was pretty, im a buckelfips. intelligent, im a weirdo.
we started a relationship and i could not believed it. enjoy all of that time my friend
maybe with starting of a journal for yourself, visualizing your journey right now. that helped me.
you deserve that, because you are beautiful. you matter ! to her, your family and friends, to us and me.
feel hugged.
I can absolutely feel how frustrating this is. I know those moments of getting lost to the anxiety and depression, they’re just shitty, and it doesn’t help when your mind is telling you that you don’t deserve the good things in your life. Like this incredible woman, my friend, you do deserve to have someone who loves you and is kind and understanding. Even if they may not be able to know the full extent, I do hope you allow yourself to embrace this relationship and accept that she has chosen to be in this with you.
You’re doing all the right things, and I do wish it could just magically make it feel immediately better, keep going forward. We are here for you. You matter!
Hi Friend, I’m sorry you’re struggling with your relationship. Don’t forget that this girl who you think is out of your league is choosing to date you. To her, you ARE in her league. She must like you if she is dating you right? You are worthy of being loved and living a happy life. ~Mystrose
Anxiety and depression can strip so much of us away and I’m really sorry you’re going through that. You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty; you are trying to manage your anxiety and depression as best you can and that can be so demanding on your emotional capacity. I doubt that the person you’re dating would want you to feel all this pressure and guilt for not being who you imagine that she wants. She’s dating you as you are. You are enough for her.
Allow yourself to forgive you for being drained by what you’re experiencing right now. It’s hard and it’s numbing, but you are doing the best that you can. Whenever you need to be told that, please never hesitate to ask.
Hi Leland.
So happy you posted here. I appreciate your post a lot because I’ve struggled with those very same things. I need you to know that you’re not alone in your journey. Anxiety is a terrible thing to experience. Especially when it is so persistent in interfering with your life. Anxiety lies to us and makes us believe lots of things that aren’t true. It’s okay to feel angry and upset about what anxiety is causing in your life. Focusing that same energy in to taking care of yourself is so vital. With some determination, you can turn that anger and sadness into motivation to climbing up and out of the bad times. Look for joy in your days. Look for pieces of happiness in all situations. Please don’t close yourself off to the world and to the people who love and care for you. I hope that you’ll let love in. Love is always worth the fight. Take care, friend. Thanks again for sharing with us.
Hey Leland, its good to meet you and the first thing I would like to say to you is that you matter, you are incredibly important, you are a wonderful human being and Im so proud that you wrote this post. Struggling with years of anxiety and depression is so very hard, one moment you start to feel better and begin to relax and then you feel it creeping up again. Its hard to manage and even more difficult to move through life with, I totally get what you mean about pushing people away, but if you sit down in a good moment and explain to the ones you love and that love you that right now you are not yourself and you are doing your best (very much like you have written here actually) they will completely understand, there is nothing to feel guilty about. If you had a physical problem everyone would be fine so what makes you think they mind about a mental health one. have faith is that wonderful girl of yours. We are here for you whenever you need it. Much Love Lisa. x
Leland, thank you for sharing what has been going on my friend. I’m sorry that your anxiety is cycling up right now and interfering with your relationship. So can I ask why you think this girl is way out of your league? She’s dating you so she must really care about you as well. Please don’t think yourself less than. You are more than enough. You say you are taking medication and going to counseling. Do you think you need to talk to your doctor about a medication change? Keep on praying. I truly believe in the power of prayer. I will pray for you as well. Please know that you are not alone. There is always community here to walk with you. Please know that you are loved, supported, you matter.
I want to start off this reply with saying, “I see you. I understand you.” Life can be bumpy and have its hurdles, but one thing about hurdles…we can overcome them. I believe that you can overcome all of the things that seem to falling on your shoulders. Would it be helpful to sit down and express your feelings that you are dealing with right now? Maybe she could give you some insight from her side of things.
Remember: Give yourself grace. Be kind to yourself. Take it one day at a time. Each day provides its own opportunities to show us the newness in life that we might have missed in the previous days. I know that its easier said than done. You can do this. Thank you for sharing this with us.
You are amazing. You are valid. You are enough. You matter.
