Another rough morning, probably going to turn into a shitty day. This last month has been shitty to be honest. I can’t remember if I’ve updated here with all of my situation but it hasn’t been fun I can say that much. I just feel so damn alone and sad all the time, and my brain wants to turn back to binging food and self harming again. But yet, I somehow have the strength to turn away those thoughts and find something else to turn to as a replacement. I just feel so conflicted. I just wish people talked with me and checked in with me. I feel so unwanted, like a waste of space. I know that this isn’t true, that it’s just my thoughts, but I don’t know. These thoughts are just running amok in my head like free range chickens lmao. But anyway. This is how I’ve been feeling recently.
It’s always a pleasure to see you around. I’ve noticed before your DM that you were here again and liking posts to make others feel seen. Your presence is seen and very much appreciated, even if it is not always directly said.
These thoughts in your mind don’t deserve your energy right now. Although I understand how it is when we feel deeply vulnerable. When I’m hurting and feeling on the edge of breaking down, it gets really hard to remind myself that I am worthy and good enough. The very fact that you know what is true during that kind of time is already a great strength, even if it feels differently at the moment.
Something I’ve realized while being depressed is that even if a day starts roughly, it doesn’t have to be the same for the rest of the day. Sometimes just connecting and discussing with someone I love was enough to bright my day. Or doing something I really enjoy. Or just finishing something/doing one task that would remind myself that this day wasn’t lost. What is something you could do today just to treat yoursel? Without any guilt, stress or regret for being your first priority. It’s Sunday, so everything else can wait.
PS - Tonight (in 3 hours) there should be a stream on the Heartsupport Twitch channel. It’s a very chill, peaceful music one with a talented musician. I’d encourage you to join if you’d like to/if you can. Connecting with others for an hour or two, in a safe place, could help to counteract those dark thoughts and bring a sense of soft comfort, even just for a little bit. <3
Here’s the link, just in case:
You are loved, friend.
Thanks for the kind words, friend. Very much appreciated. Right now I’m having a nice tea and watching my favourite streamer on Twitch, so I’m doing a bit of self care at the moment. But again, thank you for the kind words.
That sounds really neat! I can feel all the cozy vibes from there, hehe. Might follow your example and bring the giant coffee soon.
I’m glad you manage to create some space for you today. Your heart is precious. Really. You deserve all the love and care. Take it easy and slowly, as much as needed.
Micro, you seriously warm my heart. Your words mean so much to me, you are such a beam of light. Thank you for your kind words again, you’re so nice!
No you! Your presence really brings a smile to my face.
Also, connections only happen thanks to the one who initiate it. I’m very grateful that you allow yourself today to just share your heart, reach out and just open that door right here. This world feels pretty overwhelming at times. Resting in safe places when it’s needed is not a luxury. <3
PS - Coffee it is. Thank you for the indirect reminder. Very much needed!
Enjoy your well deserved coffee, my friend! You so deserve it
Sending thoughts your way today. I hope things will go as smooth as possible.