The second round of shots is this week. I’m really nervous. It doesn’t hurt at first. But then it hurts a whole ton. And then the pain stops. And then in the third round, the cycle goes around again. And the fourth. And fifth. And sixth. But after the sixth cycle, the physical pain will end. The pain will always go away. At some point. Fortunately or unfortunately.
0 days clean
I admire your courage and positive outlook.
Hi Swix,
It is understandably scary when you know that the treatment will hurt afterwards. It seems like you were able to survive without this additional testosterone so it can feel worse knowing this treatment may be unnecessary. From your previous post, I see that you felt out of control and hopeless because your family does not consider your needs or feelings. I wonder, has your family has started taking you seriously now?
They should because you matter. You are your own person with your own life, someone who should feel comfortable with themselves, no matter what.
This is a tough situation, but I know that you are tougher. This may not be a solution, but I encourage you to take care of yourself additionally after these appointments so you can recover from that anxiety inducing experience.
Here for you
-Gremlin
Sorry to hear that things have been so tough, @Swix! I understand how shots aren’t fun, though, as you likely have felt, the anticipation has a tendency to be worse than the actual pain.
I’m glad that the physical pain has an end in sight, as you truly do not deserve to hurt (physically or emotionally). I also understand how relapsing may bring up some guilt or other negative emotions, so I hope you know that this sort of thing happens and is a speed bump on the road to recovery.
We’re here for you and hope the pain isn’t too bad this time around. Please keep us updated.
<3 Tuna
Hi, Swix. Sorry you’re dealing with the pain of treatments. It really sucks when stuff like that hurts so much!
Please feel welcome to keep us updated - we shall root for you!
Our body ca be an incredibly strong and resilient “machine” that takes in all of the pain and difficult experiences. I can’t imagine how this is for you, and the fact that it’s going to repeat the same way for a little while, but, definitely proud of you for being so brave. I hope this week’s round of shots was okay. You are so very loved. I’m rooting for you Swix. 
Hey Swix, thinking of you today and just wanted to send some love your way. As well as a message of appreciation. It’s been a little while that you have been in this community, and personally I’m continuously grateful that you are willing to share about how you feel, about what’s going on in your life. I hope you know – even if it’s hard to feel it – that you are loved and you matter so very much. I can only speak for myself right now, but I’m so very proud of you and of the steps you’ve been taking so far to not let the lies in your mind overshadow the beauty of your heart, of you. What you go through, how you feel, what you think truly matters. Sending virtual (and friendly) hugs your way.
PS - Would love to draw something for you one day. Just to encourage you and as a reminder of your strength. No obligation or pressure though (and I’m not a pro artist, haha). If you ever have an idea in mind of something that could make you smile, please let me know. Anytime. <3