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Sad and feeling weird. Family issues


#1

How do I get over this? Weird situation, but my boyfriend has been staying with me and my family because his isn’t so good and the town he lives in was really dangerous. However, my brother has special needs to where he can’t talk or do much. He isn’t capable of thinking properly and stuff. He’s been really aggressive and has been hurting people such as my mom and boyfriend, dad, almost attacked me once. He’s up all night screaming and stomping shaking the entire house so I don’t get any sleep. He’s the same during the day but it’s just hell. My boyfriend would call him retarded everyday and get super mad, it terrified me to see him like that. He has mental health issues of his own and has serious anger issues but it’s no excuse. He’d just say he was mad and couldn’t help it. He’d call my mom names when he got upset, not to her but to me after she would go upstairs. He’s called me names and told me to fuck off for trying to help…
Dealing with him being like this to my family for so long, just made me not feel anything nice for his own family. He’d call them and talk for hours, and act like his was so much better than mine. Then if I tried to call a friend he would get really mad and scream at me and threaten to leave me. I wish he was grateful for us taking him in and trying to give him a better life, we do everything for this boy. He even told me that his nieces were so much better than my brother and at least they weren’t as annoying when they yelled. It hurts really bad to think back on all of this shit. My brother is leaving to go to a school for people with autism, they’ll take care of him well and we can still visit and all that. But I’ll never forget what my boyfriend told me about him, and about my mom. I don’t know how to feel because I know he has all of these problems of his own, and I think well maybe he can’t help it. But ugh. I just feel so shit. He’s visiting his family for a few weeks right now, but it just hurts so bad that he disrespected me and my own the entire time he’s here. I wish I could feel happy to hear about his family and how they’re doing now, but I just don’t know if I can right now. Ive talked to him about this but he just says he’s sorry and can’t help it and keeps doing it. /:


#2

@PikachuNerd

I’m sorry you are in this situation. I have nothing to say or to cheer you up. Forgive me.


#3

@PikachuNerd ,
Im so sorry you have to go through this and that you have to witness your boyfriend feel this way, by the way thats no excuse for your boyfriend to say harsh stuff to you and about your brother / mother. I know he has issues of his own but i think just sitting him down and seeing what the issue is. At my school i work with kids who have special needs . ive learned patients is they key when things dont exactly work out. When he get back tell him how you really feel and see if you can help him out and possibly get him into therapy if that would help. I understand therapy isnt for everyone but at the end of the day he needs help , he needs to figure out why he gets mad. Just be patient with your boyfriend because he may not have any special needs sibilings back at his old place. It will take time and patients. Remember if he does it dont get mad just say its okay and things will get better. If you need anything or have any questions just ask . Yo are so loved and you are worth it !
<3 Hold Fast <3
-Ashley


#4

I have to be honestly, your boyfriend is an asshole. I not one that should be pass judge and believe I’m far from a saint. But for fact your family brought him and he is an jerk toward people with disability and nasty to your brother, that is not okay period. Trust I know easy and it a lot to deal, but still not your brother fault, it get mad that you boyfriend talk trash. Also, if really love you, never say or treat your brother like that. People like you boyfriend are self centered and never think for other people.

Also, i know for me personal, I come from where let say if my friend that dealing family issue, my dad would not anyone at house, because in some it not his responsibility. In way he is right, because people sometimes need to learn take care them self and be leaches. For fact your parents let live on their for free, he should be great full and respectful.

I know throwing a lot at you and don’t be lectured. I’m sorry I’m coming off strong, but get really offended with people are mean to Disabillity people. I know it hard and going to hurt, but you think part way from your boyfriend, he has issue and not fair for you, for him drag you down. Find a guy that will treat with respect people. Remember you and your family don’t deserve to be mistreated, you guys seem like good people and hate to see good people get hurt.


#5

That’s okay, thank you very much :heart:


#6

Thank you, it makes me really mad when he says that stuff about my brother too. And my family, it’s just not right and makes me feel like he must not really care about us. But at the same time I feel like he does, I’m so confused and lost tbh.


#7

Thank you so much!! He’s in therapy currently and it seems to be helping, although things are still like this.


#8

That good he went to therpy, is it possisble for him to change for the better, and maybe see himself in a different life. But remeber, it okay to love someone, however that not mean have to let them bring you down. You good person with good family and sometime some people dont appericate those things. At end of the day you only do some much for people.


#9

I agree, thank you so much. I really hope therapy works, im trying to stay strong in the meantime but the abuse is hard to take.


#10

it is a very hard thing to take, and know it not easy. I also dealing fuck up family issues myself and tonight I lost my shit and broke my hand. Trust im dealing with same issue and im 28


#11

I’m so sorry. Are you okay? If you want to talk about it I’m here!