Is it bad that I’m scared to get better? What if I get into a better place in my mental health, and I start taking care of myself regularly and feeling more motivated? I want that so badly for myself, I really do want to be able to get up whenever id like and go out for hours at a time but it’s such a scary thought to me. what if I’m a different person completely if I get better? what if I’m a bad person and all of my mental struggles make me think completely differently, but I’m actually bad? I want to have decent mental health more than anything else, but its also really really scary to think about how much ‘good’ mental health would change me
It normal to feel that why cause get used to feel like a mess. For example, someone people staying in bad situations cause they so used to it, that thier normal. Change is scary thing in general whatever it good or bad. I’m going through the same thing, such as I’m actually afraid of getting into a relationship, cause use of being single.
Those feelings and questions are very understandable and normal, @graciee. When we’ve been struggling deeply or for a long time, some habits and patterns might have developped and it feels unnatural to learn healthier ways to exist. It doesn’t mean it’s bad or something would be wrong with you. It’s just that your mind and your body were used to live a certain way for a certain time, and it takes time to outgrow those things. I personally have a hard time with self-care while I know it’s what I need and want. It generally feels very uncomfortable to me, so I try to focus on babysteps. For example, I’ve been trying for weeks to set a morning routine and until now there’s been a lot of “trials and errors”. But that’s okay. As long as you know that this is a process in itself, then you can keep finding some clarity into how you feel. Be patient with yourself, friend. Maybe also consider journaling a bit about your experience and your thoughts, as you’re also learning to know yourself better through this season.