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Scared to sleep

So last week I had a panic attack in the middle of the night. I had just fallen asleep when it happened. It’s not my first (although it’s been a few months since the last one), but it was so different than the last few I’ve had. The other ones I could figure out what in the moment wasn’t helping and get to a safe place to calm down. But this one happened in the safest place I could be. And all I could do was ride it out. None of the coping that tends to work did.
Now I’m worried about going to bed. The first few nights after I took melatonin, but for me it’s a gamble taking it. Half the time, regardless of how much or little I take, it doesn’t make me fall asleep, and it intensifies whatever I’m feeling. And that is a scary place to be as well. I had one of these nights literally two days later. The nights I didn’t take melatonin, I was up late because I was scared to sleep. But I also was too scared to take the melatonin because of how I react to it. So I end up falling asleep late and then sleeping in. The feeling of drifting asleep scares me awake most nights because of how soon it happened after I fell asleep. I also already have sleep issues and don’t fall asleep until like 1 or 2 hours after going to bed, so there’s always pressure to fall asleep as fast as I can so I get some sleep.
Idk if any of this makes total sense. But if not it just kinda drives my point of I need sleep but can’t get it.

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Hey friend @beth_the_fake_ginger, I definitely understand where you’re coming from because I’ve struggled with similar things, and I know how hard it is. I don’t know if this could help you but something I’ve tried that worked for me is taking melatonin, but sleeping with the lights on and I know that sounds weird but being able to see your surroundings as you fall asleep might help. Another thing I’d recommend doing is talking to your doctor about this if you haven’t already, maybe they could refer you to a sleep specialist so they could figure something out to help you.

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