Hi, I’m kind of irritated today. X has a test by the end of the week but he hasn’t even studied. Lik he’ll go over stuff but he won’t study it. And, I helped him do his homework but still, he needed to study tonight and he just wouldn’t, I tried to study myself, it worked for a bit but he took force and well, I need to try harder to front, because I’m concerned about his last post. Ik a staff responded to him, and thanks for that, but the only way for him to truly stay on track is to force him to stay on it. I worry he may fall at some point, but I don’t want that to happen again, so I am trying to front and study as much as I can if he wont. Because I know how much this actually means to him, but the brain is just so annoying for us that it has bad habits. K has been trying to stop our bad habits, and it’s been helping, but today he was kind of a bitch. He wouldn’t stop feeding the brain thoughts of boredom, and wouldn’t stop yelling in our head during class about how bored he was, and usually HE’S the motivator, so idk why he was acting like this today. He says it because he’s tired, I’m guessing from the anxiety of yesterday, tho idk what happened. He doesn’t seem to rememebr anymore either, but ig that doesn’t mean the body doesnt. It’s possible he was anxious, so he couldn’t help us. Idk, it’s confusing, but I took his place instead. Seems X is not as obedient of my authority as he is of K’s, heh, ig I’m too easy on him. Maybe I need to be harder on him. But anyways, aside from that. Well, I wonder why no one else helped. Kov wasn’t there today, I saw him a few times but he just isn’t here today. S is here as always, but he’s always in the back of the mind. Nagi, I think he told X he was gonna sit today out so I’m guessing that he slept all day. But yea. Only Me X and K were here today, and although K is motivating, he’s also very talkative and bitchy when he’s anxious. So ig that’s why he wouldn’t shut up. He apologizes for the disturbance, and he’ll make up for it, but now I just gotta hope we know what to study for tommrorw.
Also X is worried about developing schizophrenia. I think that as long as he is in control of his mind tho he should be fine? Right? Idk, I hope we don’t get it in our 20’s, we already have auditory hallucinations sometimes a few mins after we wake up, but I assume it’s normal. Anyways yea.